October 6, 2008
The Critical Question?
As a coach, my job is to ask questions.
I was thinking just now of all the questions I've asked people… if I had to choose just one to give me the best sense of a person and how they most likely live their lives, I'd ask them this one:
"What do you believe happens when you die?"
Are you simply worm food? In a place called Heaven? (Or Hell?) Do you meet up with 70 or so virgins? Do you have no clue what your answer is?
Are you eternal? Or finite?
Does it end with death? Or is death a new beginning?
Do you have no belief? Or no idea?
This question (and the conviction with which it is delivered) will give you some great insight as to how people live.
I can tell you this — most people fear death. They do not like to think about it much. It's something to be sorry about, something to be avoided at all costs. And fear of death, if present (and whether acknowledged or not), has a huge influence on what one chooses in life. Huge.
For the record, I fall into the "eternal being" crowd. Don't believe I started here. Don't believe I end here. Don't know what form I take next. This belief frees me up. Guilt, fear, worry do not have the power over me that they once did. They come up still, but I'm more conscious of their influence.
In a sense, my belief about death allows me not to take anything too seriously. As an eternal being, whatever's going on is just a scene in the movie. It's interesting, but not too terribly important. Nothing to get hung about.
Enjoying myself, feeling good, feeling connected — that feels important. And if it's not important, at least it feels like a worthwhile strategy for my life.
But that's based in my strong belief, my answer to the critical question.
If you feel like sharing, I'd be interested in your answer.
Or your thoughts on another question you feel tells you the most about someone.
Comments on The Critical Question? »
GREAT post, Drew! i absolutely love this topic. i never thought about the link between how someone answers this question and how they live their lives.
i smell a Conscious Conversations discussion cookin'..
thanks,
jenn
oh yea…i definitely fall into the "eternal being" crowd.
glad you found it provoking, jenn…
i do believe how one feels/thinks about dying tells you something about how they choose to live…
Drew, you are right on. Many if not most live like they will never die (don't want to think about it) and die like they've never lived.
thanks Steve…
Hi Drew,
Great question! At the age of 17, in my freshman year of college (many years ago), a prof said "If you don't live like you believe, eventually you will believe like you live." I pondered that and have thought of it many times since then as it has proven to be true.
I believe I will spend eternity in Heaven with the Almighty God because I have accepted Jesus as my personal Savior.
I know that this answer will disgust some whose prejudice toward Christians or anything religious, blinds them. However, I know for a fact that my belief and subsequent life changes, guides how I live and how I view everything that happens in the world.
Shari
Hi Shari –
i like that quote by your professor… can see why it stayed with you…
reading your comment the one word that stands out is "disgust"
it just sticks out like a sore thumb… doesn't seem to fit with everything else you wrote… wonder why you felt like you needed to express your concerns re: the perceptions of others? seems to disconnect you a bit…
i appreciate your thoughts and your willingness to share…
warmest,
d
Hi Drew,
I'm glad you responded and you are right… a defensive stature popped in to my comment and I did not think about it as expressing the perception of others. Thought I had totally outgrown that need to care what others thought.
Thanks for making me think as you always do.
Shari
hi Shari –
i am always a bit hesitant to "coach" people when they do not ask for it… i just decided to let it fly with your comment (it hit me powerfully)
thanks so much for being open to it!
d