Here's the call from yesterday. Thanks to all of you who attended. I hope you find my thoughts helpful in some way. You can listen below, or just use the link to download the MP3 file.

Feelings of freedom, ease, connection = VCL.

I plan on doing much more with the topic, especially since the interest was great…

And please, if you have questions or comments, just post them below…

best,

d

oh, this is just me, waiting to upload the audio in the cafe… playing with the mac! upload is sllloooooww…

A reminder for the free community call I'm hosting tomorrow…

A brief description below:

In my definition, a very cool life is a life full of connection.

Connection to self, connection to others, connection to source.

When I'm coaching, teaching, and relating to like-minded people about the dynamics of conscious living, I am connected. In those moments, I feel totally aligned — like I am doing what I was built to do.

So, I figured, if it feels so good, why not do even more of that? Why not connect, share, and learn?

And just to keep it simple, why not make the party free?

So I invite you to join me on Tuesday, August 5th at noon EST for a tele-forum discussing the foundations of a very cool life. I have a theory that's been evolving for several years, and I'd like to share it with interested folks and hear your thoughts. And most of all, I'd like to connect with you.

If you'd like to be a part of this free community call, simply send a blank e-mail here.

drewrozell-349171@autocontactor.com

(I'll tape the call if you cannot make it live)

P.S. An important marketing note for those of you who lead classes. I originally sent this invitation out in my newsletter, kind of tucked it in there…

When I checked this AM, 18 people had signed up. Not bad, but I usually get at least 50 or so to a free class.

Before heading out to the gym, I mailed my list a reminder… I usually never do this — I fear being intrusive, I guess — but I wanted to see what happened if I sent a simple, specific follow-up.

Three hours later there's 83 people registered for the call.

If you do the math, that's like a 6300% increase.

Anyway — a good lesson for me that I wanted to share… Put it out there. And keep putting it out there…!

hope to see you tomorrow,

d

UPDATE: Just hit the 100 mark…! note to self: send out reminders! always!

oh, and is any one else tired of the Brett Favre drama? my god, who cares? makes me appreciate how silly sports is…

anyhew…

I've hired a contractor to do a job. No need to get into specifics of the job or stereotypes about the profession, I bring up the situation to speak to a larger point.

Two weeks ago, my contractor came over and I gave him his second check for my job. I've not seen him or the crew since. I do not think he ran away with the money. I have no concern that they will not return and finish the job (after all, if they do not, I get to keep the rusty wheelbarrow they've left behind). I'm not really in a rush for the work to be done — it does not affect my daily life too much.

My point is this…

I've called my contractor several times, wondering why his people are not at my place. To his credit, the contractor always calls me back. However, he begins the conversation with excuses ("oh, I lost my cell phone…"). I quickly inform him that I am not interested in his excuses, I just want an answer to my question of when I can expect work to resume. Again, he tries to explain his situation to me ("oh, one of my guys disappeared for a couple days, now he's back…") and again, I deliver the message that I am not interested in the excuse — no matter how valid. I just want know what you are going to deliver and when you are going to deliver it. And I want you to keep your word. If you cannot keep your word, I expect that you will communicate that with me. Do not make me chase you.

One of the Four Agreements is to be impeccable with your word. Say what you mean. Deliver what you say. While this certainly applies to women, I believe this dynamic to be rooted in masculine energies. As such, one of the keys to showing up as a powerful man is to be true to your word. Doing what you say keeps you in alignment and sends a strong signal to the world. Coherence is attractive and draws feminine energy to it.

Conversely, incoherence is highly unattractive. It's unreliable, unconscious, erratic, and weak. It repels feminine energy. And in the grander scheme of things, it requires much more energy than standing by your word.

For example, as I mentioned, I called my contractor and expressed my displeasure on his voicemail. Now he's got to call me back, do some somersaults and cartwheels dealing with a pissed off customer. While I give him credit for calling me back, wouldn't it be easier to have a life where these situations do not occur in the first place? (You can be sure that this happens in his personal life as well). All it would have taken on his part is a 30 second phone call that informed me that he could not keep his word, that they could not be at my house today. Clear, direct, to the point.

While my contractor inspired this post, as someone interested in the law of attraction and living a very cool life, I've invested some time studying the respective roles of masculine and feminine energy. And I see lots of men who do not act like men. They show up like little boys; boys who are afraid to grow up and show up in the fullness of their power. The result is always the same: a life of frustration, of mediocrity, or as Pink Floyd sings, lives of "quiet desperation."

I see it in men. And I hear the frustration from my female clients (by the way ladies, if you put up with it, you get what you deserve).

I could get into all the reasons men do not embrace their power, but that's an entire piece unto itself that I will save for another time.

Instead, I'll offer a few principles to keep front of mind.

1) Do not make excuses. Guess what? No one really cares about your story of why you did not come through. Really. No one cares. Do not mistake listening with caring.

An excuse is your way to try to distance yourself from responsibility. Save the story and just own it. Everyone makes mistakes. Own yours and retain your power. Yes, sometimes there are forces outside our control that affect your ability to meet your word. But as man, that's your cross to bear (women have plenty of their own). Your shoulders are broad. Just carry it. Telling stories or resort to blame and you piss your power away.

2) Underpromise and overdeliver. A simple strategy, first taught to me by Thomas J. Leonard. Self-explanatory. Again, why people overpromise in the first place is another discussion.

3) Do not make promises. Believe it or not, not every one is built to make promises (the study of Human Design provides more insight on this). However, we are conditioned to believe that we are all supposed to make promises and to live up to them. But if you know you are not good at keeping your word, then come clean about that. Tell the person you cannot promise anything, or underpromise to the point where you are certain you can deliver easily. Of course, this can difficult when people are pressuring you to meet their desire for a clear answer — but standing firm in the face of pressure falls back under of our heading of What It Means To Be a Man. Either meet your promises or do not make them in the first place. Be self aware enough to know which category you belong in.

4) Communicate. My real issue with my contractor is the lack of communication. Yes, he has broken his word several times. And while that irritates me, the greater truth is that I am certain that this habit comes back to bite him in the ass just about every day of his life. He pays the real price, not me.

His life would be easier if he recognized the value of communicating cleanly. Whatever the reason, perhaps he cannot make it to my house on a given day. Things happen. All that is required is a quick call to inform me and things would be cool.

Why do men not communicate well? The simplest reason is that it's easier not to. Communicating often means being present with emotional intensity — and that's uncomfortable for many men. Nonetheless, it's still part of being a man (that "emotions are for women" stuff is total cop-out bullshit).

So either begin to communicate or put some conscious attention on learning how to do so. Again, it's your responsibility. Own it.

---

…so this is something I feel strongly about and I do my best to live. From what my wife tells me, the fact that she can count on me to do as I say is something she greatly appreciates. If you're a man, learn to act like it. And everything you attract into your life will take a quantum leap…

The phone rang as I was in the middle of writing. I looked at the called ID, and it was my old buddy "Unknown".

Ninety five times out of one hundred, these are telemarketing calls. Even though I'm registered with the "do not call" list, I get one a day or so. About fifty percent of the time, I do not answer the phone and let the call go to voicemail (call spammers rarely leave messages).

A fair question would be why I bother to pick up half the time…?

Part of the fun of my life is that I never know what's coming into my life on a given day. I could get invited to speak somewhere, an interesting person may contact me for some coaching work, an HR person from a big company may need some DISC Reports — ya never know.

And every once in a while, those calls come in under the caller ID label, "Unknown".

So yesterday, when the phone rang with the "Unknown" label, I picked up. I heard the rustling on the other end, the other operators in the background — the tell-tale signs of a telemarketer. Even so, my curiosity got the better of me and I said hello…

"Mr. Rozell?"

"Yes…"

"This is so and so from the policeman's association. Did you hear about the officers who were killed…"

Click.

I did it. I hung up on the man. The man with the compelling story. The man doing "the good work" for the police. The man wanting me to give him some money. I hung up on him. Click. No goodbye. Not a word. No justification.  No apology.

Just a click of the button.

I usually listen to the spiel. I don't want to be rude. I let 'em down easy. Polite. Nice. But I don't really want to be in this conversation. I took measures to stop these calls. I really don't want to speak to you.

A simple truth. So I followed it.

And I must say, it felt great.

I think I'll try it again.

"THE GOOD NEWS"

JULY 2008

Drew Rozell, Ph.D. partners with a select number of dynamic individuals, groups, and progressive companies who understand the value of raising their level of awareness to deliberately create the coolest version of their lives and businesses.

"This stuff works!"

The Good News x2.

Molly and Lilly (I have trouble telling them apart) say Hi… My brother's dogs. We've been dogsitting while his family takes their vacation.

---

JULY 2008

Welcome, my friend…

Mid-summer greetings (at least to those in the northern hemisphere), and welcome to the July issue of The Drewsletter.

On the whole it's been a lovely season. Sure, I can do without the humidity and deerflies, but the good far outweighs the bad…

Hey, that's this month's theme! Goodness is all around us… so easy to forget sometimes. I invite you to read on and tap into some more GOOD NEWS.

A quick note: While this month's feature is written from the perspective of an American, I am conscious (and very grateful) of the fact that many readers of this newsletter hail from other countries. I believe the greater message still applies and I'd be interested in hearing those perspectives.

Also, please take note of the free community call I'll be doing August 5th on the Foundations for Living A Very Cool Life. You're invited…

Okay, then. Off we go… It's time to load the kayak on the truck and head  to a nice lake in Vermont for some sunshine, paddling, and a swim. See you on the water.

Thanks for your support and thanks for reading this.

Really.

P.S. If you like this, please share it with someone. Or leave a comment. Same is true if you don't like it… Thanks!

---

THE GOOD NEWS!

Catch the news lately?

Doesn't matter the medium - TV, radio, newspapers, blogs…

Doesn't matter the subject. The news ain't good: Gas prices, war, mortgages, job losses, bankruptcies, salmonella, government-sponsored torture, climate change…

It's heavy. It's bleak. It's crisis.

In America today, many people will tell you that the sky is falling. No really, this time they mean it. They point to numbers, cite statistics, and offer lessons from history as evidence that things are going to hell in a hand basket.

I understand their point. But it's not in my nature to accept it. Yes, I am an optimist (I've never seen the advantage of being a pessimist). Yes, I believe everything moves in cycles, and yes, I believe that I have the ability to create my reality no matter the circumstances around me. Whether or not you share my worldview, with all the heaviness permeating the ether, I feel compelled to inject a dose of good news.

For argument's sake, let's agree that America is in a state of crisis. Certainly, crisis is not an ideal place to be, but as I promised you, there is some good news.

In fact, in many areas of life, we spend a good portion of our energy neglecting or band-aiding growing problems. For example, when a dam needs attention, at first it will show some cracks and a few drops of water will make their way through. The crack most likely revealed that the integrity of the dam was compromised. In other words, unless deeper changes are made to the infrastructure, the problem will return. Water, gravity, and the path of least resistance are relentless forces in exposing weakness.

While change is the nature of life, part of human nature is to resist change. In the face of a problem, the two most common responses are to 1) neglect the situation, and 2) patch the leak and hope to get by a little longer. We tend to cling to the beliefs that it's easier, safer, and cheaper to maintain the status quo. But the nature of life moves with the power of the universe behind it - it's impossible to stop. With time, the crack will open up again, the drip will become a stream. And now, as you face the prospect of the entire dam breaking down, you have a crisis on your hands.

Ah, but I said that there was good news, yes? Here it is: Crisis awakens.

Humans are remarkably adaptable creatures; we can get used to just about anything. Earlier this summer I had to do some work on my septic tank. I spent the first few hours gagging, but by the end of the day, I worked with little regard for the smell. While our ability to adapt serves us well in many ways, it also desensitizes us to making changes in a pre-emptive manner.

You can drive with brakes that squeak a little bit every time you come to a stop. However, when the grating sounds of metal on metal fill your car as you strain your calf muscle depressing the pedal further into the floorboard — and you still glide through the stop sign - there's no getting around it any longer. It's time to get your brakes fixed.

Cleary, it's not ideal to wait until situations reach a point of crisis. As is the case with your car's brakes, usually the longer we ignore a growing problem, the higher the final cost of repairs.

Still, crisis is not without its merit. Crisis holds purpose. Crisis provides contrast. Crisis moves us to clarify what we really want. When we embrace crisis, crisis is often the catalyst to evolution. So individually and collectively, we ignore crisis at our own peril.

In my experience as a coach, change often comes more slowly for those who fall in the "good enough" category. In other words, they know they want to upgrade their lives, but in the current reality, things are good enough (e.g., they have enough money, decent relationships, some free time, etc). In these cases, change comes in baby steps. The prevailing thought seems to be "why risk it?"

On the other hand, give me someone on the other end of the phone who's in the middle of crisis (they hate their job, lost a spouse, etc), and I'll show you someone who's ready to walk through some fire to reach the ocean. These folks have hit the threshold where the risk of doing more of the same is greater than the risk of changing. In other words, they are experiencing a crisis.

Quoting the economist Paul Romer, "a crisis is a terrible thing to waste." While it may sound like a feel-good cliché, it's nonetheless true: Crisis holds opportunity. On a national level, America's energy and identity crises holds the power to slingshot the country back to greatness. On a personal level, while crisis is unpleasant, it holds the potential for lasting transformation.

While the good news is that crisis can serve as the bucket-of-cold-water-to-the-face in the process of awakening, going forward, this is not the preferred mode of operation. Waiting for crisis and choosing to swim in the drama is the less conscious, reactive way of being. Ideally, we want to sensitize ourselves and lower our thresholds of discomfort rather than maintain them. By noticing and adjusting at the earliest whiff of a new problem or a recurring issue, the emotional and physical costs remain low. This awareness, and the willingness to respond, are the differentiating factors between those who live a very cool life and those who do not.

Finally, expect dark news to continue for a while, but do not get too caught up in it. Refrain from being part of the "ain't it awful?" crowd. Remember that evolution is a process, not an event. And know that, in the end, it's all good.

---

Evolution Coaching Services

Consciously creating a very cool life requires your attention and energy.

It's all waiting for you.

But you have to claim it.

If you're ready for a better life, a very cool life, then let's connect.

More here.

Schedule a session here.

Call Drew 518.642.3111

---

In my definition, a very cool life is a life full of connection.

Connection to self, connection to others, connection to source.

When I'm coaching, teaching, and relating to like-minded people about the dynamics of conscious living, I am connected. In those moments, I feel totally aligned — like I am doing what I was built to do.

So, I figured, if it feels so good, why not do even more of that? Why not connect, share, and learn?

And just to keep it simple, why not make the party free?

So I invite you to join me on Tuesday, August 5th at noon EST for a tele-forum discussing the foundations of a very cool life. I have a theory that's been evolving for several years, and I'd like to share it with interested folks and hear your thoughts. And most of all, I'd like to connect with you.

If you'd like to be a part of this free community call, simply send a blank e-mail here.

drewrozell-349171@autocontactor.com

(I'll tape the call if you cannot make it live)

---

Getting my nephew Kelly started on Cape Cod. Photo by my sister, Nora

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Learn the step-by-step way to create websites and blogs using Wordpress… In one hour!

If you're inclined to send a bigger signal out to the world, in less than one hour, you can have your website, blog (or your website with a blog, like this drewrozell.com) up and running with Wordpress.

To read more and to get started, just go here.

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>>> BOOKS <<<

• The Road by Cormac McCarthy. My review in 10 words: Cold. Death. Dark. Starving. Ash. Gray. Cold. Death. So Cold.My friend Chris' review:"A light-hearted whimsical romp through the hopelessness of post-apocalyptic cannabilism.

• Born Standing Up by Steve Martin. Good summer book. A quick read about an interesting, multi-talented dude.

• Continental Drift by Russell Banks. This is my nightstand book, 10-20 pages a night. This is an earlier work Mr. Banks, one of my favorite writers. Every time I read his work, I learn a little more about the art of writing. A true master.

>>> MOVIES <<<

• The Savages - Story of siblings coming together to care for their father with dementia. Having lived this film, I must say they nailed it. Not an upper of a film, but it will make you feel. Someday, perhaps, I will explore this period of my life with some writing.

• The Wire (Season 3) - Still loving this series. Put it in your queue.

• Juno - Very good. As advertised. And those Moldy Peaches write some catchy tunes…

• 12 Angry Men - When I used to teach social psychology at Syracuse, I'd spend the first two classes showing this classic 1957 film as I believed it captured so many of the dynamics we would study later in the semester. Henry Fonda leads an all-star cast. Still holds up.

• Talladega Nights - Caught this on cable. A couple times. i remember when it came out, the movie got mixed reviews, but I found it laugh-out-loud funny. Quotably good.

Me and my nephew, 'lil Drew capture the beat. Photo by my sister Nora.

>>> RANDOM NEURAL FIRINGS <<<

• Want to see The Dark Knight and Wall-E. Been months since I've been in a theater.

• On a related note, I bought a flat screen TV. Baseball in high definition brings me joy.

• I've bought 2 music CDs all year (remember those things?). I still think there's lots of great music out there, but I miss the thrill of getting to know a really great album. Anyway, if you're a fan of the rock genre — dudes who can really play their instruments, lay down a groove, and write some intelligent lyrics, the new King's X album XV delivers the goods. A song of good news is here.

Check this page for updates throughout the month…

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• Archived Issues :: Find 'em here.

• Contact Drew :: To comment on this issue, just leave your thoughts in the COMMENTS section below. e-mail <drew at drewrozell.com> phone (518) 642-3111

ISSN: #1530-3101 Library Of Congress, Washington D.C., USA © Copyright 2008 by Drew Rozell, Ph.D. - All Rights Reserved