Drewsletter!
The Drewsletter is the monthly newsletter from Drew Rozell, Ph.D.
May 9, 2008
The Drewsletter May 2008 :: The Creamy Middle
"THE CREAMY MIDDLE"
MAY 2008
Drew Rozell, Ph.D. partners with a select number of dynamic individuals, groups, and progressive companies who understand the value of raising their level of awareness to deliberately create the coolest version of their lives and businesses. "This stuff works"
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| May 2008
Boom boom boom!
The warm weather is finally here after a long winter. Everything is in booming, blooming, alive, and growing. There's a buzz in the air and it's not just the sound of my new chainsaw clearing the trees and brush around my property. Feels good indeed.
The softball season is underway (we're 0-3, but really finding ourselves as a team) and Yankees baseball is my companion on the radio (they are finding themselves as well). I hope this finds you well and feeling vibrant. Thank you for reading this month's newsletter, THE CREAMY MIDDLE and you are most welcome to share your thoughts!
P.S. Thanks for sharing this with your like-minded friends and family. You can always point them to drewrozell.com or evolutioncoaching.com. THE CREAMY MIDDLE
In creating a very cool life, most people think the ultimate goals are to manifest more stuff and to always make "good" things happen. Sure, we'd all like that place on the beach or that ski house (or both) while having massive amounts of income float into our bank accounts while we play in the warm sunshine. Nothing wrong with any of that. But let's not mistake these sorts of things as being the end goal of a very cool life. 'Cuz they ain't. A very cool life is not about what you do. Or how much you have. And it's certainly not about how respected or famous you are… A very cool life is all about how you feel. It's a way of being. Think about it. Your life cannot be very cool if you do not feel good physically and emotionally. I became acutely aware of the preciousness of my physical well-being as a nasty virus knocked me on my back recently. Likewise, when considering the importance of your emotional health, think of it this way… I’d guess Eliot Spitzer, Amy Winehouse, or Roger Clemens have more money and fame than you. So, if you could, would you trade places with them? Didn’t think so. Upon closer inspection, a cool life has nothing to do with the external measures we are conditioned to believe denote “success.” Rather, a very cool life hinges on your ability to manage how you feel at any given moment. The more proficient you are at this skill set (yes, it is a skill set and yes, you can learn it), the cooler your life will be. Though it’s easy to forget, everyone has problems. Life is designed to add some curve balls to the mix (along with some nasty splitters in the dirt) just to make sure you're still engaged, still learning, still evolving. This is just the nature of life and no one is immune to the intense experiences of being human. In light of this fact, the critical (but easily overlooked question) to ask yourself is this: How well-prepared am I to handle the emotional intensity of life? In order to arrive at an honest answer for yourself, it’s a good idea to get an objective look at your patterns of behavior when life doesn’t appear to going your way. How do you tend to respond? Do you fill with anger and spit venom at the world? Do you feel the urge to escape, hoping that if you run and hide long enough, everything will work out? Do you freak out, diving headfirst into the vortex of drama, and become a histrionic slave to your emotions? Do you let thoughts of fear and anxiety wash over you? Or, do you maintain your equilibrium and stay cool? Certainly, the latter is the most attractive option. So if the secret to creating very cool life is about consciously managing how you feel, why isn’t this the top priority for every person on the planet? I think there are a few basic reasons. First, we’re not in the habit of looking inward and taking full ownership of our well-being. Simply, it’s just easier to blame something or someone else for how we feel and so this becomes our default way of being. Second, there is an awareness issue. We still live in an ego-centric world where we’ve been conditioned that our thoughts and ability to reason should trump our feelings. We learn that it’s better to take action — even if this action is motivated by fear or anger – than to wait for calm, cool, clarity. (The United States’ decision to begin a “pre-emptive” war is a particularly salient example). The idea that managing our feelings has a direct impact on what we create is just beginning to take root in human consciousness. The final issue is what I’ll call the Dalai Lama Dilemma. According to a recent interview, the Dalai Lama stated that his primary goal is to maintain an emotional equilibrium. “Ups and down,” he said, “are not good.” The challenge is that while living like the Lama looks great on paper (he sells many books), it’s not very sexy. One of my favorite metal bands summed it up when they sang, “Peace Sells, But Who’s Buying?” In other words, most people will tell you they resonate with the idea of living a peaceful life, but in decisive moments, they still choose the default response, reacting with drama, blame, or fear. Further, there’s also the tendency to associate a peaceful life with a monk-like existence full of chastity and boredom. Indeed, the idea that the coolest life is the most peaceful life presents a unique marketing challenge. In fact, it flies in the face just about every marketing message you’ve ever been exposed to. Fast cars, fast sex, fast money, fast times? Those ego-based appeals stir the adrenaline; there’s no need for a complicated sales pitch. However, chasing the highs is always the less conscious choice. Why? Because with every dizzying high comes a crushing low. An inconvenient truth, but the two extremes are a package deal. So then, how do you market the Creamy Middle as a better way to live? People are always interested in results, so what’s the benefit of getting in the habit of turning your awareness inward and sensitizing yourself to what you feel? When you expand your capacity to feel things fully, you develop the confidence that you can handle anything and everything that comes into your experience. With this total confidence, you eliminate the most insidious force that drives much of human behavior – fear. Free of artificial highs and lows, you notice and allow that which you DO want (rather than struggling to avoid that which you DO NOT want) and you send a clear, clean signal to the universe. In this place, the manifestation of your desires is a natural by-product of living your life in a deliberate conscious manner. Remember to look inside because the sweetness of life always lies in the creamy middle. PROFESSIONAL COACHING SERVICES Remember, managing how you feel is a skill set. In my opinion, there a few skills that have a bigger impact on your life. This is what I offer to progressive-thinking individuals and businesses. If you see the wisdom in investing in your personal infrastructure, let's connect and see what we can create together.
I really don't use the megaphone. Much. In this depiction, I am also a dead ringer for Kevin Youkilis. A cartoon from the archives created by an old partner in crime, Frank
Call 518.642.3111 DREW'S RAVE Eliminate Your Junk Mail Every one wants to simplify, right? Well, I do any way. Junk mail is an annoyance to everyone. Not only did you not ask for it and not want it, but dealing with it occupies mental space. I stumbled on this service a few months back, and indeed, my mailbox is free of much junk. Feels good every day for the $15 investment. Check it out. Greendimes.com.DREW'S LINKS Suze Orman Has Your Back Years ago, as I struggled with money, my first coach bought me some cassette tapes of Suze Orman. She helped me understand my relationship with money and how things had gotten twisted. Years later, I saw her give the keynote speech at a coaching convention and she was dynamite. Fearless. So you can consider me a fan.I do my best to keep my finances in order, and having gotten married recently, I looked into the best way to protect my investments and have them pass to Karin easily in the event of my death. Most services I looked at cost megabucks to set up a will, a living trust, etc. But then I found myself on Suze's site where she offer everything in a slick online package for — get this — 15 bucks? Yes it's tedious to fill this stuff out. Yes, there's a lot of paperwork. Yes, you have to contemplate your own death. But if you really want to take care of the people you love, and respect your money, just do it. Go here. Then click Will and Trust Kit Peace Sells… But Who's Buying? Couldn't resist including this link. I know most people do not have an ear for this kind of music (my dad used to strongly encourage me to "turn that sh!t down!" when I'd be jamming in my bedroom), so I'm not expecting to convert anyone. But written 22 years ago, I think the message of the song is still relevant. Oh, and the killer bass line and guitar riffs rock too… BOOKS
MOVIES
RANDOM NEURAL FIRINGS
One of the thousands of lovely "flowers" on my lawn. Th-th-that's all folks! Check this page for updates throughout the month… Next issue, June 2008. (518) 642-3111 ISSN: #1530-3101 Library Of Congress, Washington D.C., USA © Copyright 2008 by Drew Rozell, Ph.D. - All Rights Reserved |
Filed under Blog, Drewsletter!, Freedom, Ease, Connection Files by drew
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April 3, 2008
The Drewsletter — April 2008 — The Better Question
MARCH 2008
"THE BETTER QUESTION"
Drew Rozell, Ph.D. partners with a select number of dynamic individuals, groups, and progressive companies who understand the value of raising their level of awareness to deliberately create the coolest version of their lives and businesses.
"This stuff works"
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WELCOME March 2008 Greetings… First, I want to extend my gratitude for all of you who took the time to write me a personal note or post a comments regarding the death of my dog, Thai. Knowing people care means a lot and it was wonderful to connect with so many of you again. Thank you. We're doing well and life moves forward. The flu's been having her way with me for the past few days. Amazing how quickly one can be transformed from a strong, healthy man to a weak little boy. Makes me appreciate my health that much more. Slowly but surely, spring is making its way to upstate New York. A fire still burns in the wood stove, there's snow in the hills, and I have not yet transitioned from my collection of knit winter hats to my Yankees baseball cap. But the days grow longer and fat robins hop across my lawn. A few more days of spring skiing and it's time to break out the softball bat and glove. A few updates:
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts —
P.S. Thanks for sharing this with your like-minded friends and family. You can always point them to drewrozell.com or evolutioncoaching.com.
THE BETTER QUESTION What Do You Really Want? For a decade, this question greeted every visitor to my coaching website. Because most visitors to a professional coaching site are actively seeking something more in their life, this question did a nice job of framing the conversation that followed on the page. My pitch was that I would help you get whatever you told me you wanted. I spent several years training as a coach and during that time, I was taught that my job was to help you reach your goals. Here’s how it worked: I asked you what you wanted. You gave me an answer. I helped you get it. In some ways, I served as a human cattle prod, zapping my clients to push forward and do that which they did not feel motivated to do on their own. For example, if a salesperson told me she wanted to double her income, I made requests that she up her activity level to meet her objective (i.e., double the number of calls she made that week). Following this coach-by-numbers approach, some of my early clients actually achieved their goals. In my mind, these little miracles were to be savored and celebrated. After all, we made it, right? Yet to our mutual surprise, this is not what usually happened. Any feeling of elation evaporated almost immediately. Instead, after a virtual high-five, we were left with an empty space, typically filled by my client asking, “okay, so what now?” Shortly thereafter, it was not uncommon for me to have received my electronic pink slip –- the e-mail thanking me and suggesting that we “take a break” from working together. I’d be left scratching my head. Didn’t we just hit the bulls-eye? And now I’m getting fired? Clearly, my formula needed some tinkering. While reviewing the situation, I began to entertain a rather counter-intuitive thought. Perhaps people did not know what they really wanted. Perhaps the greater truth was most people were clueless as to the true underpinnings of consistently feeling good and enjoying life. While this seemed strange, the evidence seemed to support this idea as my clients were getting what they told me what would make them happy, but when they got those things, they were not noticeably happier. I was reminded of this change in my perspective as I was listening to a conversation between Eckhart Tolle (author of the wonderful book, A New Earth) talking to Oprah Winfrey. Mr. Tolle made a very powerful point that I’d like to share with you. He said that most of us begin our journeys by asking the very question I’d posed so many times. We ask what we really want from life. While this is fine, there are some potentially powerful limitations to asking this question. By asking what YOU want, you are likely asking and answering the question from your ego. To be clear, your ego is composed of the thoughts, beliefs and conditioning that you’ve adopted through the years. In other words, the intentions you formulate from this place do not come from your true self, or a place of alignment. Einstein once said that you cannot solve a problem on the level it was created. If you feel like something is missing from your life (and most people do), and you address this feeling by orienting your life around attaining ego-based desires that you believe will make you feel better, you will most likely be led down a dead end street. This is why the salesperson who doubled her sales felt no better after doubling her income (the greater truth was that she was miserable at her job). This is why it’s not uncommon to see examples of people (e.g., celebrities, politicians, professional athletes, etc.) who seemingly “have it all” engage in self-destructive behaviors in the pursuit of more. Looking back, it’s little wonder people do not know what they really want. We’ve been programmed to look for happiness in all the wrong places. Driven by the ego, there is no peace. No contentment. No rest. A powerful way to move in a better direction is to ask a better question. Again, the risk of only paying attention to the question of “What do I want?” is that this addresses the problem at the level of the problem – the egoic level. According to Mr. Tolle, the more powerful question is this: “What does Life want from me?” (You can substitute the word God, the Universe, or Source for Life – whatever resonates for you). I don’t know about you, but just asking myself that question fills me with a sense of relief. I inherently recognize and resonate with the truth in the question. Each of us is built in a unique way, with a unique operating system. Like a cut diamond, when positioned properly, we reflect a spectacular light out to the world. However, as you continually chase your ego-based desires, you never allow yourself to catch that perfect light. There’s a world of difference – a difference you can feel at your core — between spending your energy doing what you can do (even if you do it very well) and doing what you are built to do. When you are patient enough (yes, you’ll probably have to wait for clarity) to know the answer as to where Life is guiding you, you align with your true purpose. From this place of alignment, the rest of your desires flow to you with little effort. The emptiness of endless searching is now filled with the feelings of freedom and peace. What does life want from you? If you feel curious to know the answer, remember, you must first ask the question.
PROFESSIONAL COACHING SERVICES Ready to upgrade? Ready to explore that deep, wonderful, final frontier that is … you? I offer a full range of professional coaching services for cool people and progressive businesses for most price ranges!
DREW'S RAVE
Like cheap flights? Of course you do, silly!
I use this free service to alert me of flights in my web browser from my home airport, little 'ole Albany, New York. In January, I flew round trip to Denver for less than $200 because of this service.
Check out Airfarewatchdog.com.
Tip: Subscribe to the RSS feed in your browser if you want the freshest fares and don't like getting cluttered with e-mail.
DREW'S LINKS
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BOOKS
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A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle I read this book when it first came out. Seems like it was at least two years ago. Anyway, I thought this book was the best of its genre — true wisdom on every page. I bought 25 copies that Christmas and gave them to clients and family members. Some loved it. Some never mentioned it. Some never cracked the cover, I'm sure. Depending on where you are, this book will be unreadable or brilliant. I am not sure there's any in between. Re-reading it and listening to Mr. Tolle's conversations with Oprah on my iPod in the mornings. Worth your time if you are ready… In any case, like the law of attraction, I find it interesting that this book has hit the big time. Signs that things are moving forward, people are waking up… Unrateable |
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Nobody's Fool by Richard Russo Each night when I go to bed (brushing my teeth gives me a bit of a second wind), I look forward to read a dozen or so pages of this book. Am quite certain the setting the book was based upon is the area where I grew up. Russo nails the characters. A |
MOVIES
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No Country For Old Men - (thanks to Eric for this). I am big Coen brothers fan, so I was anxious to see this, regardless of the Oscar. I had heard mixed things from people, but I enjoyed this film very much. In my opinion, it's a guy's movie. Darker, edge of your seat type of drama. I heard people complain about the ending. First the movie's based on a book, so take it up with Cormac. Second, I think it's just fine to be left without everything resolved in a nice little package. Sometimes it's more fun to use your imagination. Anyway, I dug the film. A- |
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On The Waterfront- Every so often, I throw a classic movie in the queue. And then I am always a little disappointed when it arrives and it sits, clogging the queue for two weeks or so. And so it was with On the Waterfront with Marlon Brando. For the time, I am sure it was great and while it had its moments, I don't know that it seamlessly stands the test of time. One thing I dislike about these older movies is that the music is overly dramatic — knocks the viewer over the head, telling you what you're supposed to feel. B- |
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The Sopranos - Just finished the final season. So, yeah, we're like a year behind… I'll miss the characters… and I was just fine with the ending. My opinion: Tony did not get whacked in the diner. And Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" made me think of junior high school dances… |
RANDOM NEURAL FIRINGS
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Giving someone a book — especially a personal development book can be seen as an act of aggression. Unless you know the person very well and know they want the book in question, best to give something else. |
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Twice in the past month I've hammered out an e-mail when I was feeling in a tizzy. Instead of sending them, I put them in my Gmail "draft" folder. Just to sit on them, wait to see if my feelings changed. In both cases, I was thrilled I did not send the message. If you feel a charge in your body when cranking out a message, take a breather before you click that send button. |
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I love magazines. But enough with the little "seeds" — those cards that fall on your floor, hoping you'll pick them up and subscribe. Um, I already subscribe… and now your magazine is making a mess in my house. Please. Stop.
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My nephew Neddie pushes the limit of his sister's Hello Kitty kite on Easter
Th-th-that's all folks! Check this page for updates throughout the month… Next issue, May 2, 2008.
(518) 642-3111
ISSN: #1530-3101 Library Of Congress, Washington D.C., USA
© Copyright 2008 by Drew Rozell, Ph.D. - All Rights Reserved
Filed under Blog, Drewsletter! by drew
Bookmark me:
February 22, 2008
The Drewsletter :: February 2008 :: The Valentine
FEBRUARY 2008
"THE VALENTINE"
Drew Rozell, Ph.D. partners with a select number of dynamic individuals who understand the value of raising their level of awareness to deliberately create the coolest version of their lives.
"This stuff works"
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WELCOME February 2008 Greetings… Well, it's still winter here in the upstate New York. It's cold out and the snow keeps falling to the ground. But as I look out the big windows from our great room each evening, I notice the days are getting longer. There's still more skiing to be done, but it'd be cool if it would warm up a touch. If you keep up with my blog, you'll have an idea of what this month's feature is about. Last week, after a sudden decline, we put our older dog down. Thai, my Lab-Shepard mix (at least that's what the pound told me), has been my constant companion since 1994. The beast brought a lot of joy in my life and the lives of people who spent time with him. His death hit me hard and this month I reflect on what I've been learning from the experience. I hope you find it valuable in some way. ###### Also, a gentle reminder and warm invitation. Conscious Conversations, a small community of people interested in discussing the fundamental components of living a very cool life, meets virtually every two weeks. All are welcome to join us. A video and more details below. If you're really ready to make a breakthrough in your life and willing to learn more about yourself than you can imagine… please contact me. There are many different options to choose from to accomodate your desires. I guarantee you'll be happy with what you discover. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts —
P.S. Thanks for sharing this with your like-minded friends and family. You can always point them to www.drewrozell.com.
THE VALENTINE My friend died on Valentine’s Day. The chart on the wall said he was 88 years old. True, he lost his hearing in recent years, but he never lost his athleticism until the last week of his life. His great heart and pure spirit never faded. Dog writer Jon Katz discusses the concept of “Lifetime Dogs.” Katz defines a Lifetime Dog as “a dog that enters your life at a critical juncture and sparks change, often dramatic change. Sometimes dogs join us when we are young, sometimes when we begin our careers, get married, get sick. These dogs intersect with us in powerful ways. We always remember them.” Thai was my Lifetime Dog. He came into my life when I was a 24-year-old graduate student, paying $200 a month to share a dump with a couple of housemates. As I look back upon the photos of our start together, I barely recognize myself. The shots remind me that while I was an adult in terms of my age, I had not yet become a man.
At the beginning of his life, Thai’s arrival thrust me into a higher level of awareness of what it meant to take responsibility and the nature of love — fundamental aspects of being a man. And now, at the end of his life, I am beginning to see how Thai’s death is calling me to another level of awareness, further deepening my understanding of myself and the nature of love. Thai’s death rocked me. I cried more in the aftermath of his death than I had at the deaths of my parents. I am not trying to equate dogs to humans or imply that he was more important to me than my parents. I am just sharing the truth of the feelings that emerged in me. In those moments when I could step outside the situation, I found myself surprised at the depth and power of my emotions toward this creature. After all, I had imagined Thai’s death in my mind many times. Of course, I knew it was coming. On our trips to the vet, I’d cast a quick eye to that chart on the wall. I’d do the math. One day would be that day. This dog led a long, happy, leash-free life, and my rational side told me his life would end before mine. So why the bottomless well of emotion after he died? Dogs are the physical embodiment of unconditional love. In the fourteen years of living with Thai, each morning when I rose out of bed, he greeted me with a furious Thumpthumpthumpthump! of his tail and a lick of my hand. Whether I ignored him for the day or left him for weeks while I was on vacation, it did not matter. Thai was incapable of being resentful or petty; his whole body lit up with energy whenever he saw me. And energy is contagious.
If you are not a dog lover, perhaps it’s easier to think of Thai (or any Lifetime Dog) as a generator of pure positive energy. Like one of those ion machines that clean the air, a good dog is continually filling the air with good vibrations. Of course, with those ion machines, you need to clean the filter periodically. The same is true for dogs, though this maintenance comes in the form of dealing with hairballs, vomit on the carpet, and the occasional disappearance of your lunch should you need to leave the room suddenly. That’s just the deal with dogs. I stood next to this generator of positive energy for fourteen years. And now, with the power suddenly turned off, I found it hard to breathe deeply, like something essential for my well-being had been removed from the air. I gave myself the space to grieve over the past few days. In the quiet moments, I kept seeing the image of an old bumper sticker flash through my head. “I’m trying to be the person my dog thinks I am.” Whenever I’d see this on a vehicle, I always thought it was a cute message. I have dogs. I love dogs. I could relate to the sentiment. I still was not clear why this message kept coming to me, though. As I began to jot down some of my feelings and memories of Thai (writing is how I tend to get clarity for myself), I made the connection. Just as we see unconditional love in the animals (and people) we hold most dear, those beings that we hold closest to our heart are not truly separate beings. It looks that way, but it’s not the greater truth of things. We really are all connected. We really are all one. When you fall in love, the illusion is that you are falling in love with something and someone separate from yourself. The greater truth is that you are really enjoying the resonance with the qualities in yourself that the person or animal reflects back to you. That’s why relationships are the ultimate vehicle for our spiritual evolution; they are the ultimate arenas to teach us about ourselves. Remembering this, I realized that much of my sadness stemmed from my belief that I had lost this source of unconditional love, this oasis of total acceptance. Living in that illusion is sad indeed, when love becomes something that exists outside of you, that you are dependent on others to provide. This is not love. This is need. And there is a world of difference between the two energies. The bumper sticker flashed in my mind again, this time with some editing. “I am the person my dog knows I am.” I saw Thai as being the source of unconditional love. But –- and this is what dogs do so brilliantly for humans –- Thai was simply a perfect mirror, reflecting back to me my true self, my highest self. Each one of us is unconditional love. At our essence, that is what we are. This is how each one of us came into this world and this is what lies beyond our experience here. In the course of our lives we take on the beliefs and fears that lead us act in ways that do not honor that greater truth. We forget and we live in the illusion that we are somehow incomplete and that love comes from outside ourselves. Our work is to remember our essential nature (wholeness) and live consciously from this place. My friend died on Valentine’s Day. He chose this day to remind me that the true nature of love is the unconditional love of self. That’s easy to forget. In those moments when I forget who and what I really am, I just need to remember the image of him as I walked through the door. And the sound of a tail swishing at the joy of being alive.
####### A couple memories of Thai My dad died over 7 years ago, but he knew Thai well. I remember being at our camp when Thai was just a puppy. My dad set his drink down on the porch and left his chair. Thai ran over to his drink and started slurping it up. "Dad! Thai's drinking your beer!" I said with some alarm in my voice. "Oh, that's not beer. It's scotch…" he calmly replied. A good laugh. And Thai was fine, of course. ####### Thai swam in both the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. Most people cannot say that.
CONSCIOUS CONVERSATIONS – with Drew and Jenn continues This on-going group for conscious people will next meet on February 28th. This is a place for like-minded folk (conscious creators of very cool lives) to connect with each other and dive into some meaningful conversation. More details on the linked page, but if you're of the sort who like to learn, share, and laugh, I hope you'll join us. On February 28th, we'll explore the nature of death. A topic relevant to everyone… Two reasons why most people do not spend any time in reflective conversations… 1) It's not always easy to find the right community. 2) It's easier not to engage in this kind of conversation. For fun, I spent some time creating this promo video. Take a look and I hope you'll join us! Listen to a 4 minute excerpt from our last call…
Read more about the group here.
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BOOKS
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The Reserve by Russell Banks I'm only 100 pages deep so far, but Russell Banks is one of my favorite writers. Karin and I got to see him do a reading on a snowy night in Vermont two weeks ago. Just listening him talk about his writing process filled me with more inspiration than just about any speaker I've ever heard. Seems like a very cool dude and I am enjoying the book so far. |
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Empire Falls by Richard Russo Finished this at the beginning of the month. One hell of a writer. Makes me want to write a novel. I have the idea… A |
MOVIES
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Knocked Up - When this came out it, I remembered it being reviewed as a modern day version of The Graduate. Like it marked the culture in some significant way. If it did, I missed it completely. Could have edited an hour out of this and I don't think anyone would have noticed either. C |
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Why We Fight - Scroll down to an earlier post on this blog about this film. See it. A |
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There are so many films I'd like to see right now. No Country For Old Men. Juno. There Will Be Blood… Alas, these films do not make it to the sticks very often… |
RANDOM NEURAL FIRINGS
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Thai is survived by our other Lab-mix, Tasha. She's doing fine and soaking up the extra attention. The adventures continue. |
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I am amazed at how few music CDs I buy these days. I used to buy a couple a month. Now it seems like I buy a couple a year. Sirius satellite radio is the bomb, though. If you try it, you'll love it. |
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Into this presidential election more than any in my lifetime. Feels that important. Of course, I think all of the candidate bring a distinct energy to the fray. Will be interesting to see what America chooses for herself now. As a people, what do we resonate with now? Cast your vote on the right hand side of the page! |
Valentine for life. On our wedding day.
Th-th-that's all folks! Check this page for updates throughout the month…
(518) 642-3111
ISSN: #1530-3101 Library Of Congress, Washington D.C., USA
© Copyright 2007 by Drew Rozell, Ph.D. - All Rights Reserved
Filed under Blog, Drewsletter!, Relationships by drew
Bookmark me:
January 19, 2008
The Drewsletter:: January 2008 :: A Lesson From The Coach
JANUARY 2008
"A LESSON FROM THE COACH"
Drew Rozell, Ph.D. partners with a select number of dynamic individuals who understand the value of raising their level of awareness to deliberately create the coolest version of their lives.
"This stuff works"
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WELCOME JANUARY 2008 Greetings… I type this sitting on the couch, taking in some January sunshine that streams through the window. I just got back from a whirlwind trip to the West. I did a little work, a good lick of skiing and lots of exploring. I found myself in Steamboat Springs, CO (talk about snow!), Santa Fe, NM (a lovely little city), and in Taos, NM (always wanted to ski here — exceeded my high expectations). I hope you'll take a moment to check out my photos from the trip. They are in the post that follows this one. Last month, I mentioned I'd have some new programs arriving in the New Year. The first one is here. Conscious Conversations (hopefully the name gives you some insight), begins January 24th. You can read more below, of course. Also, if you're ready to leave "good enough" behind for living into your true greatness, contact me and let's have a chat. It's what I do. I hope you enjoy this month's feature on lessons from the Coach. (It's not what you think from the title!) Thanks for reading!
P.S. I enjoy hearing your thoughts. Please share your comments below! P.P.S. Last week, I put my book/program, Piles of Money on sale for $19. I will hold it at this price until Friday the 25th of January. Click the link to get your copy.
A LESSON FROM THE COACH In the last hour before the sun ducked below the horizon on December 31st, the supermarket was flooded with shoppers preparing to celebrate the New Year and trying to beat the predicted snowstorm. I found myself among these shoppers, on a mission for eggs, unsalted butter, and whatever else I felt inspired to pick up. I added flowers to the list (always worth a few bucks for the reaction and the beauty) as well as some good beer. We were expecting family for a tame get-together and you don't want to be one short. As I stood examining the flowers, looking for the freshest bunch with the most buds, he caught my eye. At first I wasn't sure if it was him. After all, I had not seen him in twenty years. I stole a few glances, trying to mask my curiosity. However when this technique failed to result in a positive ID, I resorted to outright staring. Indeed, it was him. Beneath a winter fedora, lightly covered in fresh snowflakes, and standing in practical but styleless black Old Man Shoes, we locked eyes. I saw no recognition behind his eyes and I maintained my blank expression. But as that familiar feeling of dread filled me, I broke contact and returned my gaze to the flowers. No, he didn't recognize me. Why would he? I rarely use the word hate. These days, I admonish my nephew when he tells me what he hates in life. But when I was seventeen years old, I hated this man who made his way towards the produce aisle. For three summers working at the lake, he was my boss. Ironically, everyone called him "Coach" — the nickname a vestige of his years as a high school Phys Ed teacher. Back on the job, the employees had another name for him. The Load. As in, "Get ready, The Load is on the way down." Or, "The Load said we need to clean the windows before we leave today." I never asked what the nickname meant, it just seemed to fit. A small man, he ruled his roost with intimidation and bluster. As much as I am reluctant to admit it, I feared him. He'd seemingly appear out of the woodwork, always catching me in what he believed to be some sort of transgression. Don't lean on the counter! Take your hand out of your pocket! Don't play with your key chain! When I arrived home after my freshman year at the University of Florida, I figured I’d take a week or two off to relax and connect with friends before going to work. I arrived at my parents’ home at 11AM. By noon, the phone rang. Without the benefit of caller ID, I picked up the phone, shocked to hear Coach asking for me. Adrenaline rushing, I deepened my voice and said Drew would not be home for another two weeks. Coach never called again, and I eventually found other employment. To, this day I do not know how he knew when I was arriving. Days with the Load started like this: Each morning as the clock in the office struck 9AM, the phone would ring. We employees would play a game of chicken, hopping around the back office, seeing who would break and pick up the morning check-in call from Coach. Usually, the most senior person on staff would get stuck with the job. On one morning that's burned into my memory, taking this call was my responsibility. I answered. In a gruff voice, Coach barked his expectations for the day. I jotted down notes to relate to the staff. Suddenly Coach's voice began to echo. And then his voice got drowned out. Was he…? Yes, he was. The Load was pissing while talking to me. He did not attempt to disguise his multi-tasking as the sound of the flushing toilet swallowed the rest of his instructions. Disgusted, I hung up the phone. To me, his message was clear. I was a cog. A widget. A replaceable part. An employee. I hated that feeling. And I hated this man for treating me this way. My relationship with Coach had begun when my aunt put the word in for me to get the job when I was 14 years old. She had worked with him at the local high school and her son had worked for Coach several years earlier. He had a reputation for paying his employees well and it was rare to find an employer at the lake who paid above minimum wage. There were even bonuses at the end of the summer. Word had gotten around. Coach didn't have to advertise for help. All of that ended twenty years ago when I did disguised my voice over the phone. However, through the years, almost every summer, I'd end up back at the lake. I'd pass the huge glass windows I'd spent hours of my life cleaning and I'd feel the bile of my resentment was still fresh. A few times, just for the nostalgia, I entered the business. And deep down, yes, the fear was still there. The fear of this little man. And now, twenty years later, here was Coach. Coach and me. Me with my flowers and Coach with his black Old Man Shoes. I studied him, and indeed, the ensuing years had turned him into an old man. He walked steadily but deliberately with a hint of the shuffle to come. As I looked at him, I couldn't help but think that the 'ole pit bull had lost his teeth. As I gathered up my items around the store, I thought back to my years around this man. Oddly enough, I found that my feelings of disdain for him were overshadowed by feelings of respect. Yes, he was a little old man now. But he still had the vitality to get himself to a busy store on a snowy afternoon. And didn't that fedora gave him an air of distinction? Looking beyond the perception of a teenager who ached for approval, the truth was that Coach had created a highly successful business with a loyal customer base. He had transcended his career as a gym teacher. He'd employed dozens of young men and paid them a fair wage. He leveraged his business success and bought local real estate that skyrocketed in value over the years. When I was under his employ, I'd been to his house (on occasion, he'd pull me away from the business to clean his pool — such a treat!) and I saw his three Cadillacs and the impressive home he had created for himself and his family. He had the chutzpah to take some big risks and they paid off handsomely for him. Personally, I do not consider Coach to be a role model. And while I cannot say that I admire the man, I must admit that I respect him for what he created. He's done more that most people will with their lives and when he leaves this world, he will leave a mark. I am still a relatively young man and I know my best days are in front of me. At the same time, I grow more aware of how quickly the years and the decades pass. One day, before I know it, I will probably be wearing Old Man Shoes that completely eschew style for comfort. And as I look back on my life, what will my legacy be? What will I have created? Will I reflect back on how I spent my days and feel a deep sense of satisfaction and pride? Most important, will I have shared my true greatness with the world? Seeing Coach reminded me the importance of asking myself these questions. And to my way of thinking, these are very important questions. For if you are not aware of your true greatness and continually and consciously moving further into that greatness, well, what are you doing with your time here? As I thought about it, perhaps Coach's nickname was not so ironic after all.
CONSCIOUS CONVERSATIONS with Drew and Jenn is ready to roll!
Begins on the 24th of January. This will be a place for like-minded folk (conscious creators of very cool lives) to sit around the virtual fire, share a drink, and connect. More details on the linked page, but if you're of the sort who like to learn, share, and laugh, I hope you'll join us. At the price ($40/mo.), I tried to make this a no-brainer for anyone with the desire….
Just look at what having Conscious Conversations did for this fellow….
"BEFORE" "AFTER"
Details and registration link are here. Topic for Call #1 — Trusting Yourself: Um, Like, How Do I Do That? |
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I'm a Lebowski, You're a Lebowski… by several authors Okay, The Big Lebowski is my favorite movie. I won't try to explain the appeal (it would be like trying to tell you why baseball is entertaining). In order to fully appreciate this masterpiece, you'll need to watch it a minimum of three times. Anyhow, my Secret Santa, my sister-in-law Kristen bought me this book (along with a swell hat) and thus remains in my good graces. B+ for a fan |
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Empire Falls by Richard Russo Picked this up at the library after seeing Nobody's Fool again (see below). Loved the movie so much that I figured I should read something this guy wrote. Absolutey love this book. Simply put, Russo is a brilliant writer. His characters pop off the page and many of his sentences make me stop reading just to admire his prose. Fiction this good has just as much power to teach you something as any nonfiction. A |
MOVIES
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Nobody's Fool - I loved this movie when it first came out. I am a big fan of Paul Newman — both as an actor and a man. The setting of the story and the characters very much remind me of the small town where I grew up. A |
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Deadwood Season 3- I have a fondness for this series and will miss it when I'm done A- |
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The Bronx is Burning (series) - My brother and fellow Yankee fan, Ned got me this DVD series for Christmas. Great for a lazy Saturday afternoon. Yankee fans only, I suspect. B |
RANDOM NEURAL FIRINGS
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If the salad that comes with your entree is full of iceberg lettuce, chances are good you will not have a memorable dining experience. |
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I never want to be an "aspiring" anything. |
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You know what drives me batty? When someone calls, realizes they have the wrong number when you answer, and then they just hang up. Is it so hard to say , "Sorry, I dialed the wrong number"? |
Th-th-that's all folks! Check this page for updates throughout the month!
(518) 642-3111
ISSN: #1530-3101 Library Of Congress, Washington D.C., USA
© Copyright 2007 by Drew Rozell, Ph.D. - All Rights Reserved
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January 9, 2008
FridgeWorthyCards.com
Continuing on my previous post, I wanted to share my idea with you. To refresh your memory, my recent domain purchase was Fridgeworthycards.com. Allow me to elaborate/bounce this idea off of you. Constructive feedback and comments are always appreciated.
As I look around my office, I have several cards displayed. Some are several years old. I love what's inside them, but I keep them around because the beautiful images on the outside inspire me. With electronic communication so prevalent in everyone's lives, when you recieve a nice card with someone's personal thoughts written in their own hand, it stands out and sends a powerful message. Somebody cares about you. And that always feels good.
So I really enjoy receiving beautiful cards. And I enjoy sending beautiful cards. In fact, like most people, over the past couple months I have had several occasions to send people cards. There was a sympathy card for my aunt when her dog died. Congratulations cards for my sister Nora and my friends Jenn, Brian, and Norbou, all of whom added a new member to their families recently. I have thought about these people many times and I've meant to send them a card to let them know I care about them.
And yet to date, I have sent exactly none. Zero. Zippo. Zilch.
Without beating myself up with shame, I will just say that this is not the person I wish to be. My actions do not meet my intentions. So while I like to send cards and sharing my feelings with the people I care about, I usually do not. Allow me to explain what I perceive to be the problem. Of course this will sound like an excuse — which it most certainly is — but my larger point is to express the genesis of my idea.
While I enjoy sending cards, I do not enjoy any part of shopping for them. First, I do not like shopping for cards in the usual places they are sold (i.e., supermarkets, drug stores, department stores). In fact, I spend most of my waking hours trying to avoid these places. Right behind Wal-Mart, I find drug stores are among the most depressing places on earth. And don't some Wal-Mart have pharmacies right in them? If you ever find me standing in line at one of these places, you have my permission to take me out. In fact, I beg of you to be so kind. But I digress…
Anyhow, when I manage to purchase cards, I tend to do so at my local bookstore. They have a better selection of high quality cards that I like — cards with beautiful photos on nice paper. However, the creators of these cards — usually Vermont artisans — do not offer their cards in bulk. This is very important to me as I love to have a reserve of things I know I will use (e.g., visit my basement and you'll find a twenty pack of toilet paper). Just as I do not wish to spend any time thinking about various tissue products, I do not want to spend any time poring through cards each time an occasion arises. My aversion to shopping is greater than my desire to send cards. That's pretty much what it boils down to, I suppose.
Another issue I have is that on a rack of hundreds of cards, I am lucky to find one that I want to represent my feelings. Most cards try to be funny, but fail. Others are too sentimental. Few of them seem to capture my sense of me or the tone I wish to express. More often that not, I gravitate to blank cards with striking images. The picture grabs me, makes me feel something, and I wish to share this feeling with the card's recipient. So I prefer beautiful images (pictures covey a thousand words, yes?) and a personal note in the cards I send and receive. And I am a big boy. I can write what I mean to say. I do not need a writer for Hallmark to express my feelings.
An example of a fridgeworthy card: Karin gave me this a couple years ago. I love the image (and what's inside) and so it remains on display in my office
In my personal experience, I often find less is more. After the death of my father, I received many wonderful cards, some from people I'd never met but whom read my newsletter. I still remember two of them. One from the aforementioned Norbou was a black and white photo of a man carrying a canoe. My dad loved to take black and white photos and was an outdoorsy type of guy. The image evoked memories of him. The inside was free of any writing other than Norbou's.
The other card, sent to me by my grad school advisor, was a photo of the moon rising over Denali. On the inside, he simply wrote, "Dear Drew… My sympathies… Brian" In my mind, he said it all with that beautiful image and those five words. Of course, I appreciate ALL of the cards I received — I still have them all, but after seven years, I still remember two of them for their vivid images and their simplicity.
Christmas just passed, and like you, I received many cards. Again, each card sends a message. A few of these touched me. On the other hand, some companies I do business with me sent me cards. To be honest, the energy I felt from the card was that receiving the cards felt like someone was doing their duty, fulfilling a job requirement. The energy the card conveyed was "I am feeling rushed and pressured and I need to get this stack of cards out so you continue to think well of me and use my service." They were sending the card because of a business obligation — there was no joy in the giving from my side of things. To my way of thinking, if there's no joy (or empathy) in sending a card, why bother?
So somewhere in my guilt for not sending friends cards and the Christmas crush, an idea popped into my head. Why not create cards that would stand out? Why not create cards that I would be proud to send? Why not create cards that are mini works of art, that are so beautiful that they are "fridge worthy"? While I hope this is self-explanatory, the name means that the recipient would find the card so beautiful that they would be inclined to post the card on their refrigerator.
The name gives the business a thesis, a controlling idea, if you will. All the cards would be images — things of natural beauty — animals, sunrises, Vermont farms in winter. You get the idea. The cards would be printed on lovely recycled paper and they would be suitable for framing. Figure around four bucks a card. Most important? You can buy these high quality cards — cards you will feel PROUD to give — in bulk so that you always have the perfect card on hand, ready to send to express your feelings to a friend.
"Fridge-Worthy Cards? How does that sound?" I asked Karin.
A true connoisseur of beautiful cards, she like the idea. Excited to get some confirmation, I searched to see if the domain was taken. To my delight, it was not. Like I said, I get LOTS of ideas like this. So before registering the name, I waited a week to see if I still had any juice. The answer was yes and so I plunked down my 10 bucks for the rights for a year.
Will I do anything with this idea? I cannot say for certain.
But my interest is still there. I have enthusiasm for the idea. And at the very least, I am interested in creating this product for my personal use. Again, I want these cards on hand to send to people when I feel the inspiration. So I will start there.
I talked to my accountant today. He told me he had unexpected spine surgery. Yikes. I don't know the man well, but we speak once a quarter. I cannot help but thinking… wouldn't it be cool to send him a beautiful card? A fridge worthy card? That would feel great to do.
And wouldn't he dig the blast of positive energy when he opened his mail?
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