I am sitting in a cafe, using the place’s WiFi to upload some files.
It’s okay, I bought a sandwich…
Anyhow, if you live in the United States, I am sure you heard the news about the governor of my fair state.
If you live elsewhere on the globe, I’ll fill you in…
Our governor (or former governor, I should say, as he resigned today) was found to be a client of an upscale prostitution ring. Sex and power are not such strange bedfellows, of course. (You can visit www.nytimes.com for the latest if you so desire).
But again, for those of you unfamiliar with Eliot Spitzer, he built his reputation as a crusader for ethics. He was known as a real hard-ass and made lots of powerful enemies on Wall Street and elsewhere. So the revelation of his incongruous behavior stunned most people. You can count me in that group, much more so than Bill Clinton’s shenanigans.
Of the conversations I’ve had or listened to, the same question comes up…
How could he not know he was going to get caught? How could he have been so stupid?
Well, I have a thought about that…
The man is a bright guy. On one level, he knew the huge risk he was taking. But on another level — a more unconscious level, he was driven/attracted to this sort of self-destructive behavior. And clearly, what exists within him on an unconscious level is a powerful, powerful force. Enough to override any semblance of common sense. This is the same force at work in any addictive behavior.
For example…
You have an intention in your conscious mind: I am healthy and take care of my body. And yet when you look at your behavior objectively, there are lots of habits that contradict/override this intention (i.e., eating lots of sugar, large portions, dessert, etc.).
In this example, the impulse to eat a dessert is a largely unconscious behavior. Of course, you know what you are doing if asked about it — but in the moment the force, the urge, the impulse is the most powerful connection for action. Before you know it, the dessert is eaten and you sit there wondering why you made yourself so uncomfortable by choosing something you didn’t really even want or enjoy.
The reason?
A powerful conflicting intention. A field of energy that’s been conditioned into you that exists at the subconscious level. And the thing about subconscious fields of energy/blocks is that they manifest themselves in insidious ways. Ways that do not serve you. Ways that have you scratching your head, wondering, how could I be so f*cking stupid?
Just like the former governor of New York State is now.
It’s not until you bring your unconscious, conflicting intentions to the level of conscious awareness that you can deal with them. And yes, this goes beyond just talking about them (i.e. traditional talk therapy). This means eliminating that old pattern of energy that has been unconsciously guiding you. This is the future of coaching/therapy/personal development, by the way. Energy medicine. Quite simply, it’s what works best.
For the record, my hunch is that Mr. Spitzer had many conflicting intentions about his position as governor. I suspect his whole life was based on meeting the expectation of someone else, most likely a parent. This is just the manifestation of this long seeded, unconscious intention. I hope he addresses it in the proper way, or, like a dandelion not taken at the root, it will just return in some form.
And I feel for the guy. God knows I’ve done some stupid stuff that I am not proud of — stuff that hurt people. But in my work addressing my own conflicting intentions for the past 5 or 6 years, I’ve gotten better…
Like I said, this stuff works…
Okay, files are loaded. Time to go home.
You don’t need to feel for the guy or try to understand if this is all due to his father (?). It’s simple: it’s the height of arrogance and belief that everyone else follow the rules but himself, and at any cost..family, friends, career, freedom. The degree of hypocricy and disdain for morality is inexcusable. His meteoric fall from grace is well deserved. In fact, by his own “rules” (which he enforced as DA), he should receive jail time of at least 1 year and lose his law license.
This man was not conflicted, he believed he was above other men and the masses. And he is paying the price. Now that makes me believe the forces of the world are as they should be.
hey Joe —
can we describe his behavior as the height of arrogance?
certainly.
makes sense. an apt description. but if you leave it there, think this is simply about this one man’s behavior, i don’t know that we glean much insight from that… (examples of people acting in an arrogant or hypocritical manner abound. for other examples see: Church, Catholic or Haggerty, Ted, etc.)
put aside your emotions toward the man and just look at his behavior… full of hypocrisy, “immoral”, devastating for his family. why would someone create such a mess in their lives? especially when they seem to have it all? it makes no “sense”… the easy explanation is he was “arrogant” or “entitled” or whatever… but that really tells us nothing. we point the finger and say “what a bad, bad man! i would never do something so stupid in my life…!”
the greater truth is that all of us have done stupid, hypocritical things in our lives. to me, the more interesting question is to ask why that is, rather than pretending this man is the only one who engages in self-destructive behavior.
appreciate your thoughts,
d
Fair enough, but I believe trying to “understand” the behaviour rather than accepting we do have people in our society who are “bad eggs” (to put it lightly) is to minimize their behavior. And in fact, I don’t find his actions hard to understand at all–it’s very consistent with personality all along. The hypocrisy and conflict with his public life are actually all pretty clearly explained by his “arrogant, entitlement, god-complex” traits. The fact that he has no friends to rally around him now is a result of those lifelong traits. And to allude that these are human traits we all have to a degree is very oversimplified. I don’t believe people who give in to sugar fixes is the same as someone who breaks the very laws he put into place.
Yes we all have indiscretions, but not to this degree. Even if we were assured never being caught, some of us still understand right vs. wrong. It’s called character, ethics and morals and it is not necessarily a trait we are all born with or can mold (or wish into place). I dare say you wouldn’t try to understand the energies that led to Hitler’s psychosis. An extreme example, yes, but you get my point. Sorry, but your summary of this scandal sounded alot like a downplaying of Mr. Spitzer’s actions by clouding it with “oh, let’s see if we can understand his motives; we’ve all been there.” Uh, no we haven’t all been there.
hi Joe —
understand that I am a social psychologist. i am always interested in why people do things. it’s just what i find fascinating.
if we do not understand the dynamics of why people do what they do, how do we evolve and learn? hard to improve anything if we just label things (or people) as bad eggs in the mix without examining the underlying causes of how the eggs got to be bad. to me, that’s a simplistic way of looking at things. if any business just discarded their faulty products without looking deeper to the underlying cause of the problem and correcting it, that company would be out of business in a hurry.
i’m not sure i follow your point about Hitler… why wouldn’t we want to know what created such a destructive force? likewise, i certainly believe it rather pointless to try to simply exterminate terrorists (or whomever) without understanding what made them terrorists in the first place. that’s like me killing the carpenter ants that invade my house with looking for the place where they are accessing my home… i can kill ’em, but they still keep coming until i address the real issue.
anyway… my real point of the post is that people are driven by motives to which they are clueless/unconscious all the time. mr. spitzer was just a salient example… i would contend that if you asked him why he did what he did, he really wouldn’t know… you might not believe that, and think he behaved so recklessly because he is arrogant/a jerk/spoiled/whatever. but my experience working with lots of bright, successful people leads me to believe otherwise… we all do things that make no “sense” and that lead us down the wrong path… i find it hugely interesting and valuable to explore WHY that is the case…
clearly, mr. spitzer has (or had) this huge blind spot — and that’s what made him behave in an arrogant manner, piss people off, and be a pretty ineffective governor. that’s not to be an apologist for him (i voted for the guy, but really have no strong opinion of him). he just made a good example because he had such a HUGE blind spot that will cost him much.
while my blind spot might not be the same as his, or as big, i know i have them. i have yet to meet the person who did not (the rub is because they are unconscious to you, you are often the last to know).
anyhow, if you are actively looking for your blind spots and pay attention to feedback you are getting from the universe (i am also quite sure mr. spitzer did not heed several warnings that this would explode in his face), we can live a better life, without having to learn everything the hard way.
okay, that’s enough rambling…
i appreciate your thoughts, Joe… if everyone agreed with what i wrote, i wouldn’t be writing anything worth a damn.
best,
d