Drew Rozell, Ph.D.

Author and Coach

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Defining Success

March 20, 2009 drewrozell 8 Comments

As soon as I finish writing this, I’ll hop in the car, put on some tunes and drive 30 minutes to the gym. I’ll spend the next 2 hours playing basketball. If my friend Tony’s ankle allows him to play today, maybe we’ll go out for lunch and a beer afterwards. Catch some NCAA hoops action.

I love the game of basketball. I love everything about it. I love the gym. I love the feel of the perfectly round ball on my fingertips. I love the sound of a basketball bouncing on a wooden floor, the snap of the net. I love the satisfaction of seeing the ball go through the rim. I love the camaraderie of the game. I love the competition.

I love that when I’m playing basketball, I’m not thinking of anything else. I love the exercise, the work, the sweat.

I play in a YMCA league, usually three times a week. Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Pickup games start around 11:30 and continue to 1:30 or so. Of course, not everyone can play in such a league. Most people work during these hours. More than skill level, the prerequisite for playing in this league is having the freedom to do so.

I cannot imagine not having the freedom to play basketball (or travel, or ski) anymore. The choices I’ve made and the risks I’ve taken over the past decade or so have allowed me to create a life that revolves around my preferences. My life reflects my personal definition of success.

The more I feel free to do as I want, when I want, how I want, with whom I want, the more I see myself and my life as “successful.”

I mention this because I think it’s important to define what success means to you. Lots of other people will try to define it for you, and if you’re not clear on what feels best, then it’s rather difficult to create your life in purposeful way. 

A good question to ask yourself is:

“I know how successful I am being by how _______ I feel.”

Notice that the question leads you to define success as a FEELING. When I send people this question, very often they do not read it carefully and fill in the blank with “… how much money I make.”

Now money is great and all, but no one really wants money per se. Money is just numbers on a computer screen, scraps of colored paper. Feelings make people happy. Not things. No, what we really want is what we believe money will buy us. In my experience, this is usually freedom. 

In any case, having a feeling to orient around is super helpful for navigating through life. For me, when I come to a decision, I can ask myself whether a given choice with enhance or decrease my feeling of freedom. In this way, by choosing what feels best to me, I keep myself in the place of alignment where I continue to attract more of what I desire.

Going to basketball several times a week eats up a significant amount of time and energy. I could probably be a lot more productive if I did not go. Some would say I would probably be a lot more “successful” if I spent that time working.

But they’d be missing the point.

Because for me, I know how successful I am by how FREE I feel.

That’s how I win the game. That’s just what feels best.

How about you? How do you win the game?

Define and align.

And I’ll see you around the court.

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Comments

  1. Mary Ann says

    March 20, 2009 at 9:41 pm

    I have the time to do the things I choose and not be bogged down by what people or institutions or society expects of me. I choose. I have created a life that allows me to attend my aunt’s recent funeral while several of my siblings “chose” not to attend for which they gave the usual excuses…work, taking care of a kid, etc. They make it sound as if they had no choice. But every moment of our day is of our choosing.

    Thanks Drew.

    Reply
  2. Ingrid says

    March 21, 2009 at 8:18 am

    I love the “define and align” concept – what a great way of expressing it.

    For me, success is freedom first and foremost. This freedom is derived from the full expression of my passions and authentic self in the world. Of course money is part of it, too – money is energy, and when I’ aligned with who I really am and express that true Self fully, the money flows to me automatically.

    Reply
  3. Brian Monahan, Expert in the Rough says

    March 23, 2009 at 12:33 pm

    Drew,

    It’s kind of like working really hard to be able to retire and enjoy life but life has already passed you by when you get to retirement.

    So true. Wish there were some better pickup basketball leagues in Cincy at lunch time.

    I will have to see if I can find one.

    I love letting my aggression out on the basketball court. I am pretty mild manner but get a bit psycho on the court.

    Hope your buddy’s ankle heals up.

    Brian

    Reply
    • drew says

      March 27, 2009 at 8:26 am

      Brian —

      never have understood the concept of retirement…

      and there is basketball in Cincy, I’m sure…. keep looking… and I’ll be sure to get out of your way on the court!

      🙂

      d

      Reply
  4. grace says

    March 24, 2009 at 12:10 pm

    “define and align ” love love love that !
    my new quote from the master of freedom, ladies and gentlemen , in center court
    MR DREW ROZELL – thunderous applause 🙂

    Reply
    • drew says

      March 27, 2009 at 8:23 am

      grace, i shall take my bow…

      thanks…

      d

      Reply
  5. Andi says

    March 24, 2009 at 10:02 pm

    Drew,

    I was just reminded for the umpteenth time how much I adore your blog. It is always a happy spot for me.
    Keep doing what you are doing!

    Reply
    • drew says

      March 27, 2009 at 8:23 am

      Andi —

      i like being that happy spot for people! thanks!

      Reply

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