This shot with the reflections of the daisies in the droplets is better than any shot I took this month. The dude takes some great photos…

Boom boom boom!

The warm weather is finally here after a long winter. Everything is in booming, blooming, alive, and growing. There’s a buzz in the air and it’s not just the sound of my new chainsaw clearing the trees and brush around my property. Feels good indeed.

The softball season is underway (we’re 0-3, but really finding ourselves as a team) and Yankees baseball is my companion on the radio (they are finding themselves as well). I hope this finds you well and feeling vibrant. Thank you for reading this month’s newsletter, THE CREAMY MIDDLE and you are most welcome to share your thoughts!

P.S. Thanks for sharing this with your like-minded friends and family. You can always point them to drewrozell.com or evolutioncoaching.com.

THE CREAMY MIDDLE

In creating a very cool life, most people think the ultimate goals are to manifest more stuff and to always make “good” things happen.

Sure, we’d all like that place on the beach or that ski house (or both) while having massive amounts of income float into our bank accounts while we play in the warm sunshine.

Nothing wrong with any of that.

But let’s not mistake these sorts of things as being the end goal of a very cool life.

‘Cuz they ain’t.

A very cool life is not about what you do. Or how much you have. And it’s certainly not about how respected or famous you are…

A very cool life is all about how you feel. It’s a way of being.

Think about it. Your life cannot be very cool if you do not feel good physically and emotionally. I became acutely aware of the preciousness of my physical well-being as a nasty virus knocked me on my back recently. Likewise, when considering the importance of your emotional health, think of it this way… I’d guess Eliot Spitzer, Amy Winehouse, or Roger Clemens have more money and fame than you. So, if you could, would you trade places with them? Didn’t think so.

Upon closer inspection, a cool life has nothing to do with the external measures we are conditioned to believe denote “success.” Rather, a very cool life hinges on your ability to manage how you feel at any given moment. The more proficient you are at this skill set (yes, it is a skill set and yes, you can learn it), the cooler your life will be.

Though it’s easy to forget, everyone has problems. Life is designed to add some curve balls to the mix (along with some nasty splitters in the dirt) just to make sure you’re still engaged, still learning, still evolving. This is just the nature of life and no one is immune to the intense experiences of being human.

In light of this fact, the critical (but easily overlooked question) to ask yourself is this: How well-prepared am I to handle the emotional intensity of life?

In order to arrive at an honest answer for yourself, it’s a good idea to get an objective look at your patterns of behavior when life doesn’t appear to going your way.

How do you tend to respond?

Do you fill with anger and spit venom at the world? Do you feel the urge to escape, hoping that if you run and hide long enough, everything will work out? Do you freak out, diving headfirst into the vortex of drama, and become a histrionic slave to your emotions? Do you let thoughts of fear and anxiety wash over you? Or, do you maintain your equilibrium and stay cool?

Certainly, the latter is the most attractive option.

So if the secret to creating very cool life is about consciously managing how you feel, why isn’t this the top priority for every person on the planet?

I think there are a few basic reasons. First, we’re not in the habit of looking inward and taking full ownership of our well-being. Simply, it’s just easier to blame something or someone else for how we feel and so this becomes our default way of being.

Second, there is an awareness issue. We still live in an ego-centric world where we’ve been conditioned that our thoughts and ability to reason should trump our feelings. We learn that it’s better to take action — even if this action is motivated by fear or anger – than to wait for calm, cool, clarity. (The United States’ decision to begin a “pre-emptive” war is a particularly salient example). The idea that managing our feelings has a direct impact on what we create is just beginning to take root in human consciousness.

The final issue is what I’ll call the Dalai Lama Dilemma. According to a recent interview, the Dalai Lama stated that his primary goal is to maintain an emotional equilibrium. “Ups and down,” he said, “are not good.”

The challenge is that while living like the Lama looks great on paper (he sells many books), it’s not very sexy. One of my favorite metal bands summed it up when they sang, “Peace Sells, But Who’s Buying?” In other words, most people will tell you they resonate with the idea of living a peaceful life, but in decisive moments, they still choose the default response, reacting with drama, blame, or fear.

Further, there’s also the tendency to associate a peaceful life with a monk-like existence full of chastity and boredom. Indeed, the idea that the coolest life is the most peaceful life presents a unique marketing challenge. In fact, it flies in the face just about every marketing message you’ve ever been exposed to.

Fast cars, fast sex, fast money, fast times? Those ego-based appeals stir the adrenaline; there’s no need for a complicated sales pitch.

However, chasing the highs is always the less conscious choice. Why? Because with every dizzying high comes a crushing low. An inconvenient truth, but the two extremes are a package deal.

So then, how do you market the Creamy Middle as a better way to live?

People are always interested in results, so what’s the benefit of getting in the habit of turning your awareness inward and sensitizing yourself to what you feel?

When you expand your capacity to feel things fully, you develop the confidence that you can handle anything and everything that comes into your experience. With this total confidence, you eliminate the most insidious force that drives much of human behavior – fear.

Free of artificial highs and lows, you notice and allow that which you DO want (rather than struggling to avoid that which you DO NOT want) and you send a clear, clean signal to the universe. In this place, the manifestation of your desires is a natural by-product of living your life in a deliberate conscious manner.

Remember to look inside because the sweetness of life always lies in the creamy middle.

PROFESSIONAL COACHING SERVICES

Remember, managing how you feel is a skill set. In my opinion, there a few skills that have a bigger impact on your life.

This is what I offer to progressive-thinking individuals and businesses. If you see the wisdom in investing in your personal infrastructure, let’s connect and see what we can create together.

I really don’t use the megaphone. Much.
In this depiction, I am also a dead ringer for Kevin Youkilis.
A cartoon from the archives created by an old partner in crime, Frank

• Ready to remember what you’re really capable of?
• Ready to upgrade how you think, feel, and what you create in your life?
• Ready to explore that deep, wonderful, final frontier that is … you?
• I offer a full range of professional coaching services for cool people and progressive businesses for most price ranges.
• Looks like I will be offering a new group focused on consciously creating a very cool life, kicking off sometime in the summer! Details to follow as they come into my head…
• If you own (or make decisions) for a growing company that is committed to the growth and development of the people that make up that company, please contact me to see what I can bring to the table.

More here.

Schedule a session here.

Call 518.642.3111

DREW’S RAVE

Eliminate Your Junk Mail

Every one wants to simplify, right? Well, I do any way. Junk mail is an annoyance to everyone. Not only did you not ask for it and not want it, but dealing with it occupies mental space. I stumbled on this service a few months back, and indeed, my mailbox is free of much junk. Feels good every day for the $15 investment. Check it out.

Greendimes.com.

DREW’S LINKS

Suze Orman Has Your Back

Years ago, as I struggled with money, my first coach bought me some cassette tapes of Suze Orman. She helped me understand my relationship with money and how things had gotten twisted. Years later, I saw her give the keynote speech at a coaching convention and she was dynamite. Fearless.

So you can consider me a fan.I do my best to keep my finances in order, and having gotten married recently, I looked into the best way to protect my investments and have them pass to Karin easily in the event of my death. Most services I looked at cost megabucks to set up a will, a living trust, etc. But then I found myself on Suze’s site where she offer everything in a slick online package for — get this — 15 bucks?

Yes it’s tedious to fill this stuff out. Yes, there’s a lot of paperwork. Yes, you have to contemplate your own death. But if you really want to take care of the people you love, and respect your money, just do it.

Go here. Then click Will and Trust Kit

Peace Sells… But Who’s Buying?

Couldn’t resist including this link. I know most people do not have an ear for this kind of music (my dad used to strongly encourage me to “turn that sh!t down!” when I’d be jamming in my bedroom), so I’m not expecting to convert anyone. But written 22 years ago, I think the message of the song is still relevant. Oh, and the killer bass line and guitar riffs rock too…

BOOKS

• Just finished Richard Russo’s Nobody’s Fool. I savored twenty pages or so every night. Loved it. Now into Cormac McCarthy’s The Road. Talk about switching gears!
  

MOVIES

• For the Love of the Game – Karin hits a home run on Netflix. I’m mixing my sports analogies here, because this is a documentary film about a girls high school basketball team. Trust me, this movie is better than you can imagine — suspenseful sports scenes and poignant lessons. Recommend this to anyone. A
  

• The Wire (Season 1) – Had heard the hype about this series and I needed a replacement for The Sopranos. Am happy to say that The Wire has proven a worthy successor. Season 1 was brilliant. A
  

• Kramer vs. Kramer – Karin rented this classic film, having never seen it before. I must say it held up magnificently. A

• There Will Be Blood – A Friday night feature for an audience of one. Me. Karin was not home and had no interest in this film. A drama all the way and a rather dark one at that. Daniel Day-Lewis is a peach of an actor. Appreciated the film but doubt I’ll ever watch it again. B
  

• Ratatouille – Visually stunning, but the little mouse never won me over. Finding Nemo is the benchmark for me on these types of movies. C+ (In truth, I let myself fall asleep halfway through with no regrets).

RANDOM NEURAL FIRINGS

• Avoid excuses. There’s nothing more lame than getting a message that says “things have been crazy around here.” Please. Save it.

• My definition of a sport? It’s not a sport unless you sweat every time you play. Otherwise, you got yourself a “game.” Was thinking about this after all the Tiger Woods/Gatorade ads (He got paid $100 million to endorse this product? Good for him). But is he really sweating that much out on the links? I know… I need to think about more important things…

• I’ve got a post coming on the joy of the video game Rock Band. Guitar Hero is very cool, no question, but Rock Band is a hoot for the whole family.

One of the thousands of lovely “flowers” on my lawn.

Th-th-that’s all folks! Check this page for updates throughout the month… Next issue, June 2008.

(518) 642-3111
ISSN: #1530-3101 Library Of Congress, Washington D.C., USA
© Copyright 2008 by Drew Rozell, Ph.D. – All Rights Reserved