When I invite people to something, whether it be a professional offer (like this one) or a personal gathering, I usually get a few long messages back from people expressing 1) how they really WANT to join me, and then 2) the reason/excuse they cannot.
Reading these, my first thought would always be the same…
Why are you telling me this?
We’re adults now. Saying no or saying nothing are perfectly fine responses. No need to worry about my feelings, because whatever I invited you to is going to be FUN. And with you or without you, fun is what I will be having.
I’ve come to realize that when you feel compelled to explain how much you’d really “like to say yes, but…” that you’re not really writing it for the other person. You’re writing it for you. You’re writing out your own justification for why you cannot have something you want. Otherwise, you’d just say nothing and move on with your life. And hey, when you write it down, it almost makes sense. Almost.
In the bigger picture, saying, “No, not quite yet…” to your desires is a nonsensical thing to do. Sure, somebody taught you how it’s better to wait, to get all your ducks in a row, and blah blah blah… but at this age, you realize that’s bullshit, right?
Putting off your desires just makes you one day older without your desire. It does not make you noble. Or smart. Or prudent. Or good. Or secure. Or responsible. Just older. And without your desire.
Because this is it, amigo. The time to play, the time to have fun, the time to suck the marrow out of life… The time to have what you really fucking want?… it’s NOW.
Whatever your desire, whether it’s a fresh cup of coffee or a new Rolls Phantom with a custom 8-track deck, it requires your alignment. In order to see something you want in your life, you’re going to have to say YES to it.
YES, I want this specific thing.
YES, I can have it.
YES, I will allow myself to have it, NOW.
And that last one, that’s where things get sketchy. Faced with saying YES to your desires, almost all of us allow our knees to buckle… we back off and start tiptoeing on eggshells around our desires…
Vibrationally, we say, Oh, wow! Sure I’d want it, but I have an appointment to get my cat’s tail fluffed, you see?
The only reason you’re not seeing what you want is because you’re being a pussy. You’re failing to make the decision that you can have what you want. You’re failing to take a vibrational stance that says, “that’s what I fucking want… and that’s what I will fucking have. End. Of. Story.”
Instead you’re busy playing the “figuring-it-out-game.” Or waiting for the right time. Or debating yourself with the yeahbuts… Whatever.
The truth is that you’re just doing what you’ve trained yourself to do… You’re negotiating with yourself (and losing. Always losing). You’re making a logical, practical case why you shouldn’t have something you want. By default, you choose to proceed with prudent caution, circling around your desire from a distance, too timid to just fucking take it just because you fucking want it.
Here is my wish for you…*
Stop being such a fucking pussy.
Act like a pussy long enough and you start forgetting what your desires even are. You stop dreaming. You stop expanding. You stop creating.
Stop numbing yourself from your desires and ignoring them, because the thought of not ever having them is too painful. Stop just going through the motions and waiting for some day. Because some day never fucking comes.
Stop the Hamlet act of indecision, talking yourself in circles, placating yourself with the false indifference that you’re “good with whatever,” always delaying your gratification for later on.
The entire world is yours for the taking. But to have it, you need to open your mouth and take a bite. You need to say YES and take what you want. There is no one or no thing out there that’s going to give it to you.
The Universe is your unerring servant. It just follows your commands. It’s not a magic genie that grants wishes to those lucky enough to stumble upon a lamp in the sand. ‘Cuz luck is for pussies, my friend…
Stop being afraid of the thought of having your desires.
Because if you take 5 minutes to look inward (another challenge, I know), this is what’s really going on here, now isn’t it? Whether you’re aware of it or not, deep down you’re afraid of having what you really want.
Someone convinced you why you shouldn’t have it. Or why it’s impolite. Or selfish… Oh, man! Don’t be one of those selfish assholes who gets what they want, right? Better to BE NICE and keep quiet… that way we can all complain about those selfish, happy, assholes together over some drinks.
Enough already. Enough.
State what you want.
Decide you can have it.
ALLOW yourself to have it NOW by taking the time to FEEL its presence NOW.
And then it’s done.
None of this is difficult. In fact you do this hundreds of times a day and don’t even think about it.
But on those subjects that feel like your Big Desires, the ones you really want, the ones where you feel stuck… or frustrated… or you’ve bullshitted yourself into thinking you don’t really want anymore? It’s time to claim them as your own.
Or you can keep waiting, of course. Exiled in Pussyville.
* While it’s my wish for you, dear reader, of course it’s my wish for me, too. Everything I write is for me.
If you want to stretch yourself out a bit and be part of a cool collective of people saying YES to their desires, now is a really good time to join The Freedom Sessions. Lifetime coaching bonus disappears tonight.