I got a bill from New York State today.
It’s one of those bills for owning a business in this state.
I readily confess that I have no idea what it’s for. Something to do with unemployment insurance, I think.
I pay an accounting service to keep me blissfully ignorant of these things.
All I want to know is how much I owe and when do I have to pay it. The rest is noise to me.
But these New York State bills pop up every couple months and I choose to deal with them when they arrive.
The bill was only $30, and I wanted to pay it quickly, and then discard the ugly form from my beautiful desk.
I don’t like the inefficiency of hand-writing checks, licking envelopes, stamping, and then having to mail something. Silly in this day and age.
I like to click type click and be done with it.
I called the number on the form to see if there was an easy way to pay.
Twenty minutes later, the woman seemed to tell me that I owed nothing. I could not translate her government-speak, and we found each other mutually irritating. I think she was telling me that I already paid the bill a couple weeks ago, but “the system” has not caught up with that. In fact another letter was to be mailed to me today, requesting the same funds that I’d already delivered.
“So I can ignore it and throw the bill out?” I asked.
She refused to give me a yes or no answer, repeating her extending diatribe about the system.
For good measure she added the fear-tinged warning that she “would never throw anything out.”
We both felt the mutual relief of hanging up and I threw the bill in the trash.
Now, I am venting a bit here about a tax system that seems incredibly complex. It’s not meant for me to understand it. Even the government employee could not readily answer my simple question regarding my balance.
I get the same feeling when I get my IRA statements and prospectuses in the mail all the time.
What do these pieces of paper mean? What do I owe? What am I being charged? Am I making money? Am I losing money?
I am writing this with a larger point to share. And here it is.
I used to think that I had to pay attention to this stuff, to learn to decipher the codes. To my way of thinking, this was the responsible way to care for my money. Certainly there are lots of gurus and books telling me so.
But the truth is, I really dislike this shit. I have zero intrest in it all…
To me, these systems are way too complex, whether it’s taxes, credit cards, stocks and investments, banking stuff…
(I downloaded a banking app this morning and the Terms and Conditions form was 35 pages!)
Here’s the thing: Those designing these game have no interest in you understanding the rules. They have no interest in making it simple for you.
While I clearly still don’t like these games, I now know that they are only as relevant as I allow them to be.
My desire is to be wealthy.
I love having money.
I love having lots of it to do whatever pleases me.
That’s my desire. That’s my intent. And so, very simply, that’s what is.
It just comes to me.
I don’t know how.
I don’t care how.
I just like what I like, want what I want, and checks appear.
It’s that simple. Call it magic if you like. Again, don’t care. Just like the checks.
Yes, I pay my bills and taxes. And yes, I pay attention to my mortgage and the quickest way to pay it off. It feels better for me to do these things than to not do them.
But amidst all the noise and the paperwork, sometimes (like now!) I need to remind myself that I do not have to play anyone else’s game to get what I want.
I don’t have to concern myself with financial systems that I do not care one bit for me in order to get what I want.
I just need to be clear in my desire.
I just need to exercise my imagination.
I just need to practice thinking about how I want it to be.
To allow myself to want what I want.
To expect it all to be simple.
Just because I LIKE IT THAT WAY.
That feels so much better.
Because it is true (for me).
My game. My rules. My life. My creation.
Very. Cool. Life.