Happy Valentine’s Day.
Last night I found myself thinking of past Valentine’s Days. Truthfully, only one came to mind. This was about thirteen years ago (is that possible?) and I was a graduate student at Syracuse University working toward my Ph.D. in social psychology. As a graduate student, Syracuse offered me a full scholarship in exchange for my teaching or assisting psychology classes.
In December of my first year, I started receiving notes from an admirer. They showed up at my office desk, my campus mailbox, and my home. These letters were well-written, thoughtful, and respectful. I got a least one a week and I grew to look forward to hearing such nice things about myself.
Who doesn’t like having a secret admirer, right?
I remember trying to match up the handwriting with the women in my department. I had many wishful thoughts as to my admirer’s identity, but I could never be sure.
This game went on for months. Until February 14th. Valentine’s Day.
At 10PM that evening the phone rang. I lived with three other guys at the time. This was before the days of ubiquitous caller ID, but I knew that this call for me. My housemate called out, “Drew, it’s for you…”
My heart thumped in my chest. I knew that this was to be the moment of truth.
“Hi, Drew. It’s me James.”
“Yes, James from your class last semester.”
I felt a sense of disappointment and relief that this was a student and not my admirer. James was a model pupil and a terrific young man.
“What can I do for you James?” I said, trying to slow my heart rate.
“Well… I was wondering if you got my letters?” he asked.
“James, I’m really sorry…” was all I could sputter at first. I really felt for this kid. He was feeling my rejection and I could feel his deep sadness that his desire would not be manifesting in the way he had envisioned it.
As shocked as I was at my admirer’s identity, I immediately felt great respect for James. He stuck his neck out there for his desire and it could not have been easy for him to do so. He put himself in the line of fire, and he left rejected and embarrassed. I did my best to convey these thoughts to James and we hung up.
I sat in the hallway for a few minutes, silent. The reality of the situation washed over me. All the pieces clicked into place, piece by piece, letter by letter. There were clues in those notes, as James had pointed out in our conversation, and I had missed every one of them.
While I was not the manifestation of James’ desire, I have little doubt that somewhere down the line he manifested his desire in the form of someone else.
A couple points worth highlighting from this Valentine’s Day story. According to Abraham-Hicks, the first rule of Attraction is “Ask and it is given.” In order to manifest, you have to ask. So you must always ask (and be a vibrational match) for what it is that you desire. Start by asking. Out loud. With certainty and joy. James asked.
Number two: Do not get caught up in the form of things. Using relationships as an example, I often hear from people who want to attract one specific person in their life. In other words, caught up in the over-identification with their ego, they try to force an outcome. They try to impose their will rather than holding an intention and letting the universe work out the details.
Using this example, James made it clear to the universe that he wanted a relationship and using me, he identified lots of the characteristics that he desired in a partner. I was not a vibrational match for this desire. Now James could have lamented this fact and wasted all his energy trying to make something happen in the face of insurmountable resistance. Or he could recognize that the universe had gotten his order and was already preparing it for him in a way that was better than he could have expected. His work would be to stay in that place of trust that because he had asked, the universe would deliver — even if the gift came in different wrapping paper.
Ask for something you really want today. Feel the joy of it coming into your experience. Regardless of the “reality” you find yourself surrounded by, even if you have no clue how things could possibly work out, your work it to get into the feeling place of resonance with your desire. Allow it to come. And it will.