"JEZEBEL"
OCTOBER 2008
Drew Rozell, Ph.D. partners with a select number of dynamic individuals, groups, and progressive companies who understand the value of raising their level of awareness to deliberately create the coolest version of their lives and businesses.
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Maples in the morning. On the shores of Lake George, NY. Photo by Joan.
OCTOBER 2008
Welcome, my friend…
I bet you can feel it too. Change. In the air.
Sure, the weather is changing — as I type this there are snowflakes! — yes, snowflakes falling from the sky. But the changes I am referring to go far beyond the weather. So while things are cooling down here in the northern hemisphere, the intensity of life seems to heating up!
I don't need to rehash the news, you've seen it all too — the future is all in flux. Depending on who you talk to, I notice there's either a deep sense of fear or a growing sense of optimism.
I bet you can guess where I land with things. I see the old way of doing things falling away in obsolescence and I find that tremendously exciting.
In light of this, I am forming a new community of people who wish to live on purpose and free of fear. I am still looking for your input, so check out the section called Live Like No One Else below!
In other news, earlier this month I hosted my Very Cool Life Network meetup in beautiful Lake George, NY. You can check out some photos and a fun video in the post below.
Finally, I hope you find some value in this month's feature. It was written from my heart.
Thanks for your support and thanks for reading this.
Really.
P.S. If you like this, please share it with someone. Or leave a comment. Same is true if you don't like it… Thanks!
JEZEBEL
As I drove over the mountain, the orange, reds, and yellows of fall exploded all around me. I’d spent the weekend leading a group that I’d worked with for the past year. The weather had been sketchy all week, but from the moment people arrived on Friday until we departed on Sunday, the gods smiled upon us, delivering as beautiful a weekend as I could remember.
We enjoyed a wonderful sense of connection and community; everyone got what they came for. During my ride home, I felt filled with a renewed sense of clarity and purpose. As I drew closer to my driveway, I felt another wave of anticipation. My in-laws would be meeting us at the house to take us out for Karin’s birthday. I looked forward to a lovely meal together and celebrating.
Just as I was about to turn left into my driveway, I saw something on the right side of the road. Little white paws. Lifeless.
I saw nothing more than the paws, extending from tall grass. But I knew.
I never stopped the car. Instead, I raced up the hill to where Karin and her mother were standing in the yard. Oh no. Oh no. NO! NO! NO! This can’t be.
I flung the car door open and yelled, “Have you seen Jezzie?” The urgency of my question startled them.
“She’s in the house,” Karin’s mom replied.
I exhaled an internal “thank God” and was about to explain my erratic behavior. Before I could say anything, though, Karin’s mom clarified that she had seen our orange cat in the house.
But Jezzie is gray. With white paws.
And I knew my little cat was dead.
As we ran down to the road, I felt as though I’d had my front teeth knocked out. The physical pain throbbed through me, but in the midst of it, there was also that jarring awareness that something in my life would never be quite the same again.
Still in shock at how quickly my day turned, I took my little friend’s cold, stiff body up the hill. I said goodbye and proceeded to fight the earth, the rocks, and my tears to bury her.
I tell my story not because my pain is unique. To the contrary, I tell it because I believe that kind of pain is a universal human experience. Jezebel brought me a lot of joy in our short time together, and her death brought up some powerful feelings for me. To me, ignoring those feelings would be a missed opportunity.
Remember, every one of our desires is born out of contrast (it’s only from the state of feeling what we do not want that we begin to clarify and focus on that which we do want). And for me, the pain of this experience led me to want comfort. In my search to feel better, I remembered a recording from my favorite spiritual teacher (Abraham) that specifically addressed cats and the issue of death. I listened to it, and indeed, I felt much better.
On the recording (see below to listen), Abraham said many things that resonated with me deeply. First, she said that cats are not at all worried about death. Unlike humans, they know they are eternal beings. (In my experience, while many humans profess this belief, many fewer live their lives in harmony with this belief.)
Abraham also mentioned that animals often choose to run out in front of cars as they are ready for another experience. Oddly, I found comfort in this statement.
“Haven’t you ever wondered about the timing of that?” Abraham asked.
In fact, I did wonder about it. In the three years Jezzie was with us, she never went down by the road. Even if she did, there’s so little traffic passing by. Logically, it did not make any sense to me.
Abraham continued to share what a cat would say to us if it could speak. I share a couple lines here, believing the wisdom extends far beyond the relationship between humans and felines.
“You cannot control my behavior. Please do not ask me to change the condition of my life so that you can feel better.”
If you’ve ever had a cat, you can testify to the veracity of the first sentence. The second statement struck me even more deeply and as I reflected on it, I remembered how I began to learn this lesson during Jezzie’s life.
She came home one day with a small scratch on her head, not far from her eye. Before the wound could heal, she would start to scratch at it, infecting and expanding the surface area of the wound. Karin and I were determined to fix the situation (i.e., to ease our worry) and heal our cat.
At one point, I found myself on eBay buying little pink shoes that I hoped would keep her nails from tearing her skin. The only thing more amusing than watching me try to shod her with the booties was watching how fast she would shake out of them. For many weeks, we had her wear an Elizabethan collar around her neck. She hated being trapped in an inverted lampshade, but we had convinced ourselves that we were doing the right thing. We knew best, right?
After weeks of healing, one night she gave the collar the slip. In a flash, she tore at the new skin and we were back at square one. Having seen the futility of our worry-filled efforts, we finally gave up. Jezzie was going to do what Jezzie was going to do. And over time, things healed up. Every once in a while, she’d inflict a wound on herself again, but our reaction was different. We could see that was her choice and we were powerless to change her behavior. She was okay with the situation. Shouldn’t we be?
Please do not ask me to change the condition of my life so that you can feel better.
I could see how these words applied to my cat, but the depth of these words resonated beyond my pet. After all, this is what we do to each other all the time, yes? Instead of minding our own vibration, there is a strong tendency to look outside ourselves and lay our responsibilities at the feet of the people around us.
If effect, we often treat the people closest to us with a kind of conditional affection that says “If you would just behave the way I want you to, then I would feel good. If you would just change the condition of your life, then I would feel good. But you cannot create a happy, connected life using this recipe. If you try, peace of mind will always exist just outside your grasp, and the result will be a life filled with frustration, not joy. Love is unconditional or it is not love at all. And love, not fear, is the correct response to any question.
I still miss my cat. Normally she’d be somewhere in my office as I write this. I have no insight as to why she chose to leave this experience, but I believe she did leave by choice. What’s more, I believe she left with no fear, no regrets, and no guilt. She simply followed what felt best for her, minding her own vibration.
A lesson for us all, perhaps?
My former co-worker and me in the morning light. Photo by Ned.
* Notes: If you're not aware of Abraham, you can find out more here. As far as spiritual teachers go, I recommend them higher than any other. You can even check them out with a search on YouTube. Many thanks to loyal supporter and friend Brian for introducing me to them many years ago. My life is better because of it.
Here's the full audio of the Abraham teaching that helped me so much. I'm guessing that posting it is a copyright violation, but my desire to share this won the day. The full recording is 17 minutes, so perhaps allow yourself some quiet time to bask in the words and notice how listening makes you feel.
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I'm starting a new community.
Still working through the details.
But I can see the big picture.
And the big picture is about leading a tribe of people who are interested in living like no one else. What does living like no one else mean?
It means living a life full of freedom, ease, and connection. It means living a life that is free of fear. It means stepping outside of your old, conditioned ways of being. It means living life on purpose, on your own terms.
I will be hosting an R and D call on my vision for this group soon.
If the idea of joining a community of sharp, like-minded people stirs you, I invite you to read more here or just get on the list by sending a blank e-mail to:
drewrozell-376575@autocontactor.com
After all, you may say I'm a dreamer… but I'm not the only one
>>> BOOKS <<<
all these reads are solid…
- Tribes by Seth Godin
- Hot, Flat, and Crowded by Thomas Friedman
- Money and the Law of Attraction by Jerry and Esther Hicks
- Strength for Life by Shawn Phillips
>>> RANDOM NEURAL FIRINGS <<<
>>> This is my favorite video over the last month. I love me some musicianship… the purity of it. Wonder if non-metal fans can appreciate it? Remember seeing this tour in college.
>>> In this election, I think the coolest candidate will win. Don't you? Perhaps it could be argued that this is always the case? Cool attracts. Cool wins.
>>> Okay, was just sent a link to this video. Be warned, more politics. But my childhood hero is the co-star and I think it's damn funny too. Check it out. Thanks to Monty for sending it to me.
>>> Oh, and I love the new Google Chrome browser. Better than Firefox or IE.
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ISSN: #1530-3101 Library Of Congress, Washington D.C., USA
© Copyright 2008 by Drew Rozell, Ph.D. - All Rights Reserved
