For the past few days I’ve sat at my desk, thinking of all the things that need doing.
I am finishing up a new book.
I’m smack in the middle of writing another.
My wife and I are preparing to launch the new version of our Book in 90 Days Program next month, and there are a zillion things to do.
I’ve got two half-finished blog posts.
There’s an e-mail to my list I haven’t quite finished.
I’ve got notes for a dozen short videos to shoot for my new podcast.
I’m due to record this month’s coaching CD for my club members.
You get the point…
But, these last few days, when I sit here at my desk, I can’t quite muster the energy to do any of it.
I hop around from project to project, maybe add a line here and there. I tinker.
There’s no focused energy.
It feels easier to float to Facebook. To read about the Yankees on the blogs. To listen to some good music. To practice the guitar. To go for a walk. To play Dots on my iPad (it’s totally addicting).
I’ve even gotten a couple of naps in…
In the not-so-distant past, I would have flipped my Willpower Switch and start getting some shit done.
Certainly, it feels good to finish things.
And certainly, the thought of Being Lazy has long been my personal Kryptonite, a force powerful enough to smother my intuition.
But lately I’ve been moving into the most freeing space of all…
(‘Tis the major theme of A Phantastic Case of the Phuckets, the working title for the book I’m in the midst of writing, by the way.)
I don’t mean that I don’t care in a nihilistic sense.
Rather, I mean that I am okay with not letting a To-Do list dictate how I spend my time.
I am okay with not doing all that I “should be doing” and instead, just surfing the wave right in front of me.
I am allowing myself to be where I am.
And I have to tell you, it feels like Pure Freedom to me…
(Allowing yourself to goof off all day is really quite wonderful. That scary Repercussion Monster? He just might only be a figment… but you can’t take my word for it. Something you have to discover for yourself.)
The very best part of all this? The only reason I would push through the resistance I feel at my desk and try to get things done is because of an old belief that “working hard now pays rewards later…”
Playing this out, what would that future reward be, anyway? Hmmmmn….
Oh yes, that potential reward, promised with a wink to arrive sometime at some fuzzy point in time if I am juuust willing to suffer a bit for it?
I’ve lived long enough to have seen that the two birds in the bush are usually long gone by the time I arrive.
And the bird in my hand, the FEELING OF PURE FREEDOM NOW, is what I really been wanting — more than anything else — for all these years.