For the past few days I’ve sat at my desk, thinking of all the things that need doing.
I am finishing up a new book.
I’m smack in the middle of writing another.
My wife and I are preparing to launch the new version of our Book in 90 Days Program next month, and there are a zillion things to do.
I’ve got two half-finished blog posts.
There’s an e-mail to my list I haven’t quite finished.
I’ve got notes for a dozen short videos to shoot for my new podcast.
I’m due to record this month’s coaching CD for my club members.
You get the point…
But, these last few days, when I sit here at my desk, I can’t quite muster the energy to do any of it.
I hop around from project to project, maybe add a line here and there. I tinker.
There’s no focused energy.
It feels easier to float to Facebook. To read about the Yankees on the blogs. To listen to some good music. To practice the guitar. To go for a walk. To play Dots on my iPad (it’s totally addicting).
I’ve even gotten a couple of naps in…
In the not-so-distant past, I would have flipped my Willpower Switch and start getting some shit done.
Certainly, it feels good to finish things.
And certainly, the thought of Being Lazy has long been my personal Kryptonite, a force powerful enough to smother my intuition.
But lately I’ve been moving into the most freeing space of all…
Not caring.
(‘Tis the major theme of A Phantastic Case of the Phuckets, the working title for the book I’m in the midst of writing, by the way.)
I don’t mean that I don’t care in a nihilistic sense.
Rather, I mean that I am okay with not letting a To-Do list dictate how I spend my time.
I am okay with not doing all that I “should be doing” and instead, just surfing the wave right in front of me.
I am allowing myself to be where I am.
And I have to tell you, it feels like Pure Freedom to me…
(Allowing yourself to goof off all day is really quite wonderful. That scary Repercussion Monster? He just might only be a figment… but you can’t take my word for it. Something you have to discover for yourself.)
The very best part of all this? The only reason I would push through the resistance I feel at my desk and try to get things done is because of an old belief that “working hard now pays rewards later…”
Playing this out, what would that future reward be, anyway? Hmmmmn….
Oh yes, that potential reward, promised with a wink to arrive sometime at some fuzzy point in time if I am juuust willing to suffer a bit for it?
Freedom.
I’ve lived long enough to have seen that the two birds in the bush are usually long gone by the time I arrive.
And the bird in my hand, the FEELING OF PURE FREEDOM NOW, is what I really been wanting — more than anything else — for all these years.
This sounds great, but I wonder how it would play out in my life. If I spent my weekend lying on the couch reading mysteries, or fishing, or walking the dog, or playing Candy Crush, or watching movies, I might feel “free”, but in reality the house wouldn’t get cleaned, the groceries wouldn’t get bought, the meals wouldn’t get cooked, the clutter I’m trying to get rid of would still be there. So, I’m trading freedom now for the realization later that I have a dirty house, no food, and clutter up to my butt? And all that stuff still needs to get done, and I still don’t want to do it. I try to make trade-offs. I vaccuum and clean the floors, then read the rest of the afternoon reading. I put on a timer and spend 15 minutes de-cluttering my office (or other space) and then watch the back episodes of The Bridge. I go to the grocery store and run errands, then spend the afternoon at the movies. Part of what I value so much about going to the ocean on vacation is that, for an entire week, I don’t have to do anything. If I want to cook, I cook. If I don’t, we eat out. I don’t have to worry about laundry (until I’m home) or cleaning the house, or any of that day-to-day stuff. It would be awesome if the rest of my life was like vacation, but I don’t see how that’s possible. The “stuff” will always need to be done, and elves aren’t going to come in the house at night and vaccuum up dog hair.
hey Joan –
“It would be awesome if the rest of my life was like vacation, but I don’t see how that’s possible.”
You’re not really giving your desire a smidgen of a chance then, are you?
Your brilliant logical mind can come up with endless, seemingly valid reasons why you can’t have what you want. If that’s what you choose to believe, and you just throw your hands up without first getting them dirty and seeing what might happen, well then of course you will be proven correct. Always.
Because you are always right. You don’t see how it’s possible? You’re right! You decide it’s possible? You’re right! Law of Attraction is unerringly fair in this way.
The part about deciding what is really possible in your life is the work, by the way. There’s a bit of heavy lifting involved in following what feels better in the moment (just because we’ve been so well trained to do otherwise). That’s why so few people do it.
I gotta tell you though, I just never get the part why anyone would ever argue why they cannot have what they want. Even from a strictly logical perspective, it makes no sense.