I started this post on June 9th, 2011, over six months ago.
Got the photo ready, saved it, never came back to it (for every blog post I publish, I have two or three abandoned ones. More ideas than time).
Today I stumbled across this post in my draft folder and felt inspired to say something about it.
Let’s see what comes out…
I remember taking this photo after spending an hour with Alex, trying to soothe him to sleep.
When he finally conked out, I filled with elation.
I had done good!
I took care of my baby!
I felt so purposeful.
Why am I here? Why, to feel indescribable love, of course…
My raison d’être never felt so clear. In this moment, all the things I’d been striving for… my ever-shifting demarcations of “success” that always appeared to dangle just beyond my grasp… evaporated.
They were always illusions of course. It’s just that my sleeping baby allowed me to see it in a way that I never could before.
Hearing his soft breathing, feeling him surrender into a peaceful slumber, I felt like the wealthiest person in the world.
Because I am.
And I always have been.
Alex, your daddy appreciates the reminder.