Drew Rozell, Ph.D. partners with a select number of dynamic individuals, groups, and progressive companies who understand the value of raising their level of awareness to deliberately create the coolest version of their lives and businesses.
“This stuff works!”
Welcome, my friend…
Ah, lovely September. There’s still a couple weeks left of my favorite month. We had our first frost last night, but the days have been warm and filled with sunshine. In the mornings, as the legions of geese go honking by, I see a plume of white smoke coming from my neighbor’s chimney. Haven’t fired up the woodstove yet, but the wood is stacked in the shed and it won’t be long now.
The trees began turning in early August this year and probably will not peak for another month. A walk around the property smells like blackberrys, hay, and apples (looks like a good crop this year). Monarch butterflies dance across the fields with deceptive speed. Each day, another field of corn gets harvested.
Did I mention this is my favorite time of year? True, I would be even more excited had the Yankees made the playoffs, but I suspect I’ll find a team to root for.
In any case, I hope you enjoy this month’s feature on the concept of taking full responsibility. Quite simply, I believe that if you do not look within when dealing with any problem, you are looking in the wrong place and limiting your capacity for a truly cool life.
Finally, last month I hosted a free community call on the Foundations for Living A Very Cool Life. Over 140 people registered for the call (you can access the recording here), so I think I’ve struck a chord. I am hosting a free follow-up call later this month called The Common Barriers to Very Cool Living.
Details below and I hope you’ll join me.
Enough of my yakkin’… let’s boogie!
Thanks for your support and thanks for reading this.
P.S. If you like this, please share it with someone. Or leave a comment. Same is true if you don’t like it… Thanks!
I live on a hillside. A large retaining wall stands at the mouth of my driveway. Constructed more than 30 years ago from old railroad ties, the wall is six feet high and ninety feet long. The wall bids me farewell when I leave and welcomes me home upon my return.
For the past two years, I’ve eyed the wall carefully, inspecting it with each pass. I could see that the relentless forces of gravity, water, and time were closing in on another victory. I knew the day was coming when the wall would surrender to the elements and the earth would fall into my driveway.
I also knew that replacing the wall would be a major undertaking. I’d recently invested in several home improvements and I did not have much left in the kitty for a landscaping project. However, in sudden and unexpected fashion, I attracted the funds for the project just days before a heavy rain caused the wall to give way. The timing of everything felt perfect. I hired a contractor to complete the job.
He and I agreed that work and payment would take place in stages. I wrote a check, and the next morning his crew arrived and got to work. Making good progress, a week later the second stage of the project was ready to launch. I wrote a second check. That was six weeks ago. No one has returned to work at my home since.
In short, my contractor–and my dollars–vanished. With each passing day, the situation occupied more and more of my thoughts. Accompanying those thoughts were some powerful emotions. Fear, resentment, frustration, and anger have all colored the spectrum of my reactions to the situation.
As the days grew into weeks, the intensity of these emotions built to a crescendo. Thoughts of my contractor filled my head as I lay in bed. Waves of anger washed over me as I entertained visions of visiting him at his home, Tony Soprano-style, letting him know that he’d messed with the wrong man. Often, I’d wake the next morning and begin my day by leaving him a stern warning of my intentions on his voice mail.
In my mind, he was dishonest, incompetent, clueless, and pathetic. And I could prove it — after all, I had the terms of the agreement written in black and white on the contract we’d both signed. Yet as the storm of emotions swirled within me day after day, there was an inescapable truth. All of my outrage had not added a single stone to the wall. Not only was my approach unproductive, but I was poisoning myself with my toxic thoughts. Something needed to change.
The foundation for a very cool life begins by taking full responsibility for your life. Now this probably sounds familiar, and in my experience, most people are willing to accept this idea. However, when it comes to living into this principle, somewhere we hit our personal wall — the threshold where it’s no longer my fault, it’s your fault. We hit a threshold of our willingness to accept responsibility and we look outside ourselves to find a cause for our unhappiness.
I’ve found that most people are willing to be somewhat responsible, or maybe even mostly responsible. But taking 100%, absolutely-no-exceptions responsibility? This is where things get tricky. We struggle with taking full responsibility for our lives because we’re conditioned to blame, complain, and make excuses. However, I believe that the willingness to be fully responsible for everything in your life is the single greatest factor that separates an ordinary life from an extraordinary one.
In order to live the coolest version of your life, you must begin to see everything that touches your life as a perfect reflection of the thoughts, feelings, and energy you are sending out to the universe. Trying to argue whether this is statement is 100% true or engaging in debates regarding exceptions to the rule are distraction of the ego that only keep you distant from your true power. The point here is not to attempt to control or understand every event that shows up in your life, but rather to accept responsibility for how you respond to the events of your life.
For example, I failed to take full responsibility in my situation with the contractor. In my mind, I had met my end of the bargain. Clearly he was at fault. Clearly, he was to blame. By approaching the event with this mindset, unconsciously I was taking on the role of the victim. I was the innocent fly who got snagged on a strand of the spider’s web. In that critical moment of choice, instead of coolly choosing to free myself from the single strand, I allowed the rush of my emotions to seduce me into thinking that fighting the spider was a better idea. However, by thrashing about in fits of fear and anger, I quickly found myself completely entangled and exhausted. Easy prey indeed.
When we live in a world where things happen to us, we live as victims of our circumstances. In this place, we become the puppets that allow the people, forces, and events around us to pull the strings of our lives. In my case, I gave a complete stranger and an inanimate pile of stones a great deal of power over my life. As ridiculous as this sounds, I’d wager heavily that somewhere in your life, you’re operating in the same manner.
If you want to know where your personal wall to taking full responsibility for your life lies, notice where you feel a charge or a reaction to someone or something (e.g., money, a family member, the fool who cut you off in traffic, etc.). As you notice the feelings that come up, notice the thoughts that accompany those feelings. Now notice that those thoughts are directed outward, at something or someone else. Finally, notice that those thoughts do not feel good. Understand this is what you are choosing for yourself. In turn, understand that this is what you are creating for yourself. Not cool.
If you’re waiting on a person, situation, or the world to change before you can allow yourself to feel better, best of luck to you. The smarter move is to put your focus on the one thing that’s truly in your control — how you feel. By changing how you feel, you immediately align yourself with your desires and eliminate the resistance that keeps those desires from manifesting.
My retaining wall still isn’t built. But since flipping this switch, I’ve been able to talk to my contractor and converse with him from a place of compassion instead of anger. I can see that he’s just a guy doing his very best, just like me. And by choosing to respond to the situation from a more peaceful place, I live in the knowing that somehow, someway, someday, the wall will stand, tall and solid as a bunch of mortared rocks.
UPDATE: My contractor magically returned to work yesterday. He hit a rough patch in his life. In our conversation, I found it unusual/interesting when he made the remark that I was his only customer who ended up taking a hit.
Evolution Coaching Services
Consciously creating a very cool life requires your attention and awareness.
Very cool life?
Call Drew 518.642.3111
If you want to live a very cool life, you’ll need to know thine enemy…
In this free one hour call, I’ll share what I’ve learned in the past 13 years of study.
So I invite you to join me on Thursday, September 25th at 11AM EST for a tele-forum discussing the most common barriers to creating a very cool life. I’d like to share my thoughts with you, hear your thoughts, and most of all, connect!
If you’d like to be a part of this free community call, simply send a blank e-mail here.
You should receive a confirmation e-mail very soon after registering (check your spam folder if you do not or contact me).
I’ll tape the call if you cannot make it live…
Just like the lighting on this one. P-Nut to boot.
Attractionville.com = Practical Attraction.com = Now Live
Several years ago, when The Secret was still a secret, I created a community website full of resources on how to live into the Law of Attraction. After creating many, many hours of content and information and dealing with too many technical issues, I let the site go fallow. However, I always intended to upgrade the infrastructure, as I believe the materials are excellent.
Check it out if you’re interested in that sort of thing.
(And if you’re a previous member of Attractionville, the new password for the member’s area is simply the old login.)
>>> BOOKS <<<
too many books, too many magazines
>>> MOVIES <<<
- The Business of Being Born – Read into our movie choice what you will, but this was a fascinating look into the choices we make regarding how children enter the world. Worth a look, for sure.
- The Wire (Season 4) – Still loving this series. Put it in your queue. Karin is hooked as well, so it ain’t just for dudes.
- The Dark Knight – Actually made it to the theater to catch the blockbuster. Liked it. Can’t say I loved it.
>>> RANDOM NEURAL FIRINGS <<<
- Waaay more shaved head/bald guys out there nowadays. Noticed this in the airport on recent Denver trip. Shaved my head 12 years ago. Stood out. Now, not so much. Just sayin’
- New Rule: If someone (like me), prefers not to be on the dancefloor at a wedding, please don’t keep waving us on, encouraging us to “join the party.” We’re fine just where we are, thank you.
- I want one of these to park on my property.
- Rented a VW Rabbit when in Denver. Smallest car I’ve ever driven. While I found none of the German-made controls to be intuitive to my brain, I liked the ride.
- I just turned 39. This is my last year to get my act together and be nominated by a local Chamber of Commerce for one of those “40 under 40” awards. But seriously, it does go fast, doesn’t it? Seems like just yesterday I was the young buck in the field… No more.
Okay… One more photo…
Took this shot in Boulder, Colorado a few days ago. Don’t know these kids. They were just playing in the water, trying to guess where it was going to shoot up next. They caught my attention because they knew how to have a good time.
Check this page for updates throughout the month…
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- Contact Drew :: To comment on this issue, just leave your thoughts in the COMMENTS section below. e-mail <drew at drewrozell.com> phone (518) 642-3111
ISSN: #1530-3101 Library Of Congress, Washington D.C., USA
© Copyright 2008 by Drew Rozell, Ph.D. – All Rights Reserved