Don’t tell me what you hate.
Don’t tell me who you think is to blame.
Don’t tell me what you don’t like.
Don’t tell me about how s(he) doesn’t deserve to be so successful.
Don’t tell what you think is so wrong with the world.
Being critical is easy.
So easy that it’s seductive.
More than seductive. Insidious.
Why?
Being critical has its roots in being “right” about something.
If I tell you how bad something or somebody else is, my ego gets a little boost.
Being critical allows you to gratify your ego, to say “I am right about this. I know best.”
But our ego does not have our best interests in mind.
Never did. Never will.
Here’s the thing that most people do not get (and a key factor that separates people who live Very Cool Lives from The Herd).
When you take a moment to go inward, you’ll notice that being critical does not feel good.
Never did. Never will.
Your ego likes to try and fool you, but operating from the ego is like eating at McDonald’s. With the quick high of immediate, mindless gratification comes a predictable crash.
Becoming aware of this habit and making a new choice takes practice.
Until you care more about how you feel than being right, you can expect to fall prey to the habit of being critical.
Towards others. And towards yourself.
The effect is that by connecting to this field of negative thoughts (critical thoughts are always negative thoughts), you’re choosing to poison your own well.
If you want a Very Cool Life, you need to be better than that.
So why not see what happens when you stop speaking, thinking, and posting about what you don’t like and start telling the world what you love?
Hey Drew, I’ll start by saying how much I love this post, and the gorgeous photo. Thanks for the excellent – and simple – advice. It will feel good to bring awareness to my own critical habits and begin to make that shift 🙂
thanks so much Heather.
the habit of releasing critical thoughts (and actions) is a biggie.
something for all of us to work on.
the photo is a sunrise from my deck. winter provides wonderful light. look forward to the show every morning.
Hi Drew,
This is something I have been thinking about lately.
I noticed that while at a party this weekend I found myself making negative comments about things….which is opposite of what I typically do. I tend to lean way towards the positive side of reporting my life and talking about stuff….It felt strange to be doing it.
As I watched myself interacting in this way, I noticed that it felt bad to me…but I couldn’t seem to stop myself from pointing out how this is the second time Andy dropped and broke something on the floor in the middle of a room full of stocking foot people…..and how I was sick in bed last week for TWO WHOLE DAYS!!!!! and I hate when so in so does such and such.
I couldn’t seem to stop myself…i was watching a train wreak about to happen.
And I wondered …where did this come from??? Where am I feeling less than and needing to make myself right?
I suspect something is about to shift for me since I’ve been having this awareness and now I see your awesomely clear post. It’s all coming forward so I can look at it.
You Rock Drew!!
😉
hey Leah —
thanks so much…
i find being critical to be like any other thought — they are contagious to other similar vibed thoughts…
getting out of the loop (and being aware of the importance of doing so…) is da work…
in the end, we are all “poisoning our own well”
so better to cool it!
🙂
thanks again… always lovely to hear from you… d