The Drewsletter: May 2010: Change is for Losers

May 27, 2010 drewrozell 22 Comments

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“CHANGE IS FOR LOSERS”

MAY 2010

Drew Rozell, Ph.D. partners with dynamic individuals, groups, and progressive companies who wish to to create more freedom, ease, and connection in their lives and businesses.

“This stuff works”

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May 2010

Welcome, my friend!

Yes indeed. Big news from the homefront.

The ultrasound image tells the story. Karin and I are expecting our first child at the end of the summer. Words do not allow me to capture the depth of my feelings, so let’s just say we’re thrilled. More related thoughts in this month’s feature.

A few more births around here as well. Super stoked to report that I have finished my book, Very Cool Life!

After investing in a coach, after years of stop and start, push and pull, I cranked this puppy out in two months. What’s more, I know the information in there is solid and written in an entertaining way. Look for the big launch at the end of the summer.

In coaching news, if you are looking for the proper (and necessary) support for creating your own version of a Very Cool Life, I am pleased to announce a few new options.

First, I am now offering Very Cool Life Breakthrough days — both in-person and virtually (over the phone). I recommend these for people who are ready to get aligned FAST and have an unforgettable experience at the same time. In person days are held at a very cool Vermont inn or camping lakeside in the mountains with yours truly. Your choice.

Second, my wife and I have been teaming up for solo business owners who want the full enchilada — a powerful brand, compelling message, and a clear mind. Karin does the step-by-step marketing piece and I do the aligning of the mindset work. This program is a combo of in-person work (come see us) and follow up coaching. We have two spaces left.

If you are interesting in connecting, the first thing to do is to schedule a session with me to see how it feels when we connect.

Connect with Drew

ALSO: 2 spots left in Karin’s Brand Authenticity Program. Starts this week! (I’ll be there, too!)

Finally, you might enjoy some of my recent posts, including my 3-part essay on a wild kayak ride with my friend.

I hope you find my thoughts valuable.

Thanks for all your support!

P.S. If you like this, please share it with someone. Or leave a comment.

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CHANGE IS FOR LOSERS

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So, I am going to be a father. A dad. Someone’s old man.

And if all this new-fangled technology is to be trusted, it appears that a little boy is making plans to join party. (This gender news surprised us both, but within three seconds, I envisioned throwing a ball to my son. I had never pictured that before. Taking it in, I tried to breathe through my eyes to suck back the tears.)

Karin has been showing for a couple months now (she’s due at the end of the summer). I’ve found that our good news evokes two distinct reactions from people.

Members of the first group of people tell you how happy they are for you. They tell you that they believe the two of you will be wonderful parents. At some point, these people are likely to hug you.

The second group of people responds in a much different way. Before expressing any sort of joy, these folks project their parenting experience onto you. They tell stories about how relieved they are to have survived.

“You have no idea what changes you’re in for,” one person told me, his tone reflecting his pity regarding my naivety.

While my instinct was to begin illustrating the differences between us, I knew I wouldn’t convince him of anything. As I walked away, I threw him his bone:

“You are absolutely right. I have no idea what to expect,” I replied.

Of course, he was right. When it comes to being a dad, I have no idea of what to expect.

However, what I did not bother to tell him was that I hold a clear expectation. My expectation is that my life will get better than it is today (and it’s very cool now).

Experiencing the two types of reactions from others has been another clear example of how people hold one of two distinct mindsets. There are CHANGERS and there are EVOLVERS.

I’ll start with the CHANGERS.

Ask a CHANGER if they understand that life is full of change and they will say yes. However, while they acknowledge that life is full of change, they do not really embrace it.

To better illustrate this distinction, picture a surfer bobbing in the ocean with his board.

The CHANGER knows the waves are coming. But rather than exerting the effort of paddling with the wave or mastering the skill of popping up on the board, the changer stays put. He lifts the board overhead to use it as a shield from the oncoming barrage of waves.

CHANGERS do not have the vision to see beyond the current set of waves; their immediate goal is survival. They just want to let the waves pass over so they can get back to their life as it was.

CHANGERS usually muster enough willpower to keep themselves afloat – for a while. But it does not take many waves to discover the true power of the ocean. In the long run, covering up and hoping for the waves to stop is not a winning strategy. You end up a victim of the whims of the ocean.

Continuing with this analogy, an EVOLVER decides to use the most powerful tool at his or her disposal (their mindset) for its intended purpose. They use the board to go surfing, dude.

The EVOLVER understands that getting on top of the waves is not easy and requires effort. The EVOLVER chooses to focus their thoughts in a clear, positive direction. The EVOLVER knows that the point of life is to grow, to expand, and to improve. The CHANGER has forgotten all this.

The CHANGER spends their time dealing with problems. The EVOLVER invests in eliminating problems before they occur.

Doing my morning workouts, the trainer offers a few words that reflect the thinking that separates CHANGERS and EVOLVERS.

“You can get older. Or you can get better,” he says. He goes on to explain how he can do things in his mid-40s that he could not do in his twenties.

So if you’re wondering if you’re a CHANGER or an EVOLVER, consider your answers to the following questions.

What are you getting better at right now?

What are you actively learning?

Who are you becoming?

What steps are you taking to improve the quality of your daily experience?

EVOLVERS have clear answers to those questions. CHANGERS tend not to be so forward thinking.

Make no mistake, getting better and becoming an EVOLVER requires your consistent focus and effort. However, never lose sight of the real point here. Being an EVOLVER and keeping up with the speed of life is exhilarating, fun, and challenging. It’s the foundation for a very cool life.

Becoming an EVOLVER requires you to invest in yourself — hire a mentor, join a community, or attend a workshop. Learn something new about yourself and become more than you are today.

In closing, my son will arrive in three months. I have no idea what to expect when I’m expecting. And nothing could make me happier.

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TAKE YOUR LIFE BY THE HORNS!

A friend from a recent hike. More friendly than she looks...

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You say you want it all?

… To feel clear, strong, powerful, and aligned?

You can hold the best intentions. You can hope. You can dream.

(This is what most people do, by the way.)

But unless you start to do something different than what you are doing now, the chances of you reaching your destiny are, well… slim.

They just are.

Be an EVOLVER, not a CHANGER.

Your life is what you make it, so why not make it a VERY COOL LIFE?

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THE FIRST STEP

Let me invite you to book a 30-minute breakthrough session with me.

It’s low-risk. Yes, you’ll need to invest a few bucks in yourself.

But if you’re not willing to do that for yourself (with me or another coach), how serious are you?

Here’s the kicker…

I’ll guarantee that within the 30 minutes, I’ll be able to zero in on the biggest block that’s holding you back.

(In fact, it will likely take me about 3 minutes. We can use the rest of the time any way you like. )

Hope to connect with you…

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WHAT DREW’S CLIENTS SAY…

“I’ve been thinking back over this year, and one of the things I am most grateful for is the decision I made to work with you. The assignments are subtle, the changes profound. Thank you. Your coaching is just what I’ve been asking for.”

— Fabienne Fredrickson, The Client Attraction Mentor

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My Breakthrough Day with Drew was the best decision I have ever made! As a result of our day, I feel totally energized, clear on my direction, and a newfound sense of freedom! I didn’t know I could be this happy. I highly recommend investing in a day with Drew! You might be surprised too that you could be this happy!

— Stephanie Taranto

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Video Testimonial on working with Drew & Karin

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* BOOKS AND MUSIC *

• A Book:

BREAKFAST WITH BUDDHA: By Rolland Merullo. Just 50 pages in, but I can tell I like this novel. Easy to read, excited to pick it up. Some great writing too.

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SHOPCRAFT AS SOULCRAFT: By Matthew Crawford. Crawford makes the point of the value of working with your hands, creating things. While I am a big believer in his point, the writing style is a tad too academic for me. Reminds me more of a dissertation. Find myself skimming. Not picking it up. Too much proving of the point.

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BACKCAST: FATHERHOOD, FLY-FISHING, AND A RIVER JOURNEY THROUGH THE HEART OF ALASKA: By Lou Ureneck. Picked this up on a whim at the bookstore. A well-written, enjoyable memoir about being a man and a dad. Savored it each night before bed.

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• MUSIC:

Farewell, RJD: Rock legend Ronnie James Dio passed this month. I thought enough of him to write this.

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AIC Returns: Certainly, rock is my genre of choice, the most common soundtrack to my life. Got the opportunity to see Alice In Chains perform locally with my friend Tony last week and they were great. Got their new album, and I must say, it rocks.

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A VERY COOL LIFE IN PHOTOS

Haystack Mt., Pawlet, Vermont. A new favorite little hike of mine.

here are some more photos from this month…

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Connect with Drew: Drew’s Facebook | Drew’s Twitter

Subscription Information :: To subscribe, just enter your information in the box to the right side of the page. To unsubscribe, just follow the link on ANY mailing to you.

Archived Issues :: Find ’em here.

Contact Drew :: To comment on this issue, just leave your thoughts in the COMMENTS section below. e-mail <drew at drewrozell.com> phone (518) 642-3111

The Drewsletter: March 2010 | Visionaries versus Reporters

March 25, 2010 drewrozell 6 Comments

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“VISIONARIES VERSUS REPORTERS”

MARCH 2010

Drew Rozell, Ph.D. partners with dynamic individuals, groups, and progressive companies who wish to to create more freedom, ease, and connection in their lives and businesses.

“This stuff works”

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Chilling out on the boat. Now I'm on the opposite coast off of Fort Myers. — Drew's shoes and the Gulf of Mexico. A very cool trip!

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March 2010

Welcome, my friend!

I hope this newsletter finds you feeling great and creating the coolest version of your life.

Life is a movin’ and a shakin’ on this end!

Been on the go for work and play lately. Los Angeles. Las Vegas. Miami Beach. All cool places. Spent that time coaching, being coached, and chilling out. Also got to watch my awesome wife, teaching her fantastic marketing tools to an audience of several hundred.

Lots of new programs in the hopper. All very exciting with some launches in the upcoming months!

In the meantime, I’m trying to sneak in another ski day or two before it’s time to put away the sticks for another year. The Canada geese, robins, and bluebirds appearing around our house have been telling me that the season’s almost over!

Skiing at Gore on St. Patrick's Day. Close to 60 degrees! No hat, just a long sleeve shirt. Best day of the year. — Skiing on St. Patrick's Day. Close to 60 degrees! Best day of the year...

I’m a big fan of distinctions.

The late coaching sage, Thomas J. Leonard, taught me the value of using distinctions to integrate important concepts in a memorable way. Distinctions stick with you and so I did my best this month to use this technique to emphasize the importance of envisioning your life the way you want it to be. It’s sounds simple, I know, but living into the idea takes a combination of awareness and focus.

I hope you find my thoughts valuable.

Thanks for all your support!

P.S. If you like this, please share it with someone. Or leave a comment.

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VISIONARIES VERSUS REPORTERS

“To be realistic today is to be visionary. To be realistic is to be starry-eyed.”

— Hubert H. Humphrey

Most people are reporters.

But it’s the visionaries who thrive.

What does that mean, that most of us are reporters? After all, most of us have never seen then inside of a newsroom, and even fewer get paid to find and tell compelling stories.

Reporters are storytellers who collect the facts as they see them and relay this information to other people. Reporters pick a subject, observe it, and then share their observations on that subject. Reporters are trained to “tell it like it is.”

Think of it this way, whenever you are offering an observation of something in your current reality, you are telling a story about that subject. And so, we all step into the role of reporter every day of our lives.

Here are a few examples of stories from the reporter perspective that I’ve heard in the last 24 hours.

Woman in a restaurant telling a story to a friend:

“My son has had health problems from the day he entered this world.”

Me after receiving a lunch salad filled with wilted spinach, telling a story in my head.

“No one in this restaurant really cares.”

A Facebook friend telling a story through her status update:

“Didn’t sleep well again last night! So frustrating. Grrrrr!”

As reporters, we have a tendency to stick to our stories. We do so for two reasons. First, we believe our story is true. Second, we’ve been conditioned to tell the truth long before we would even consider telling a story of what we wish to be true.

All the previous reports are true. I have no doubt the woman in the restaurant has spent many sleepless nights either caring for or worrying over her sick little boy. Pieces of the spinach on my plate were in fact, rotten. I am sure my friend had an uncomfortable, sleepless night. Each one the reports could be substantiated with evidence.

However, the most important question to answer in your life is not “What’s true for you now?”

The most important question you can answer for yourself is “How do you want it to be?”

If you are interested in upgrading from some aspect of your current reality, you need to stop being a reporter and become a visionary. Visionaries, like reporters, tells stories. However, the reporter observes and tells the story with no regard to how telling that story makes her feel. In contrast, the visionary chooses to make a huge leap by moving past telling stories that do not feel good, no matter how “true” these stories may be. Instead, the visionary takes the proactive step of envisioning the future conditions she truly desires and begins telling that story.

Why should you become a visionary?

Because you can only manifest that which you can envision in your life, and if you cannot create a vivid mental picture of your desire, it cannot show up. The stories we choose to tell are critically important because they are more than just stories — they are actually self-fulfilling prophecies.

If dramatically upgrading any aspect of your life was a simple as choosing to tell a better feeling story about whatever subject you wanted to improve, then why do people still go through life as reporters instead of becoming visionaries? A fair question…

Because it’s easier to report than to imagine, that’s why. It’s easier to tell people how it’s going rather than to tell them the story of where you are going. It’s easier to connect to dozens of vivid memories of your sick little boy that to create a whole new picture of him as healthy and strong. It’s easier to talk about the crummy salad in front of you than to envision receiving wonderful food the next time. When you’re tired and cranky, it’s easier to relay this fact rather than taking the time to imagine how great it would feel to awake rested and refreshed every morning.

Most people are reporters.

Most people live ordinary lives.

If you want to create an extraordinary life for yourself, you need to become abnormal.

Start by becoming a visionary.

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P.S. After my sub-standard salad incident, I took the time to envision what I wanted — great food! My next meal was the best chicken parm (served ocean-side) that I’ve ever had in my life. The point being, the Universe will bring you whatever you allow yourself to envision, whether that’s a delicious meal or a thriving business. Your job is to be a visionary, regardless of the circumstances that surround you.

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YES…

YOU CAN!

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You say you want it all?

A very cool life?

A kick-ass business?

Good news, my friend!

Yes, you can have it all…

It’s all yours for the taking.

But make no mistake, no one gets there alone. There’s no such thing as a “self-made millionaire”.

Look at any top performer in any field and they all have one thing in common…

They understand the power of investing in themselves and hiring a great coach.

Because no one gets there alone.

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THE FIRST STEP

Let me invite you to book a 30-minute breakthrough session with me.

It’s low-risk. Yes, you’ll need to invest a few bucks in yourself.

But if you’re not willing to do that for yourself (with me or another coach), how serious are you?

Here’s the kicker…

I’ll guarantee that within the 30 minutes, I’ll be able to zero in on the biggest block that’s holding you back.

Money back. No fuss, no muss.

Hope to connect with you…

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What Drew’s clients say…

“I’ve been thinking back over this year, and one of the things I am most grateful for is the decision I made to work with you. The assignments are subtle, the changes profound. Thank you. Your coaching is just what I’ve been asking for.”

— Fabienne Fredrickson, The Client Attraction Mentor

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* A Book and a Movie *

• A Book:

THE 22 IMMUTABLE LAWS OF MARKETING: By Al Ries and Jack Trout. If you own your own business, get this book. Like, now. I mean it. Stop reading this and go get the dang book! A quick read that will change how you need to be thinking about your business.

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• A Movie:

THE HANGOVER: Yup. I’m late to the party. (Get it? Late… to the party? 🙂 )But hey, I don’t see as many movies as I used to. But I’m always up for a comedy, been a Zach Galifianakis fan for a while now, and hey, it’s set in Vegas! (Oh, the memories!) You’ve probably already seen it and so you already know how funny it is. Come on over and we’ll watch it again…

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EVERYBODY LOVES PICTURES, RIGHT?

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Connect with Drew: Drew’s Facebook | Drew’s Twitter

Subscription Information :: To subscribe, just enter your information in the box to the right side of the page. To unsubscribe, just follow the link on ANY mailing to you.

Archived Issues :: Find ’em here.

Contact Drew :: To comment on this issue, just leave your thoughts in the COMMENTS section below. e-mail <drew at drewrozell.com> phone (518) 642-3111

The Drewsletter: February 2010

February 5, 2010 drewrozell 12 Comments

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“THE POWER OF PRACTICE”

FEBRUARY 2010

Drew Rozell, Ph.D. partners with a select number of dynamic individuals, groups, and progressive companies who wish to harness the power of Radical Responsibility to dramatically create better outcomes.

“OWN YOUR THOUGHTS, OWN YOUR LIFE”

A winter hike with my friends Chris, Bob, and BoBo the dog.We started at the furthest point on the pond in the distance. Walked over the ice to meet the trail. Temperature around zero degrees. Great fun and sun.
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February 2010

Welcome, my friend!

We’re still deep in winter here in the North Country.

Our family has expanded. Two weeks ago, we picked up Coco the cat from a cold country roadside and welcomed her into our warm house. So far, so good with Coco and the little ecosystem we have at our home.

When I’m not huddled up next to the woodstove, I’ve gotten some nice skiing in. However, it seems like all the big snowfalls have hit lower on the East Coast. Still waiting for a big powder day! While I’m enjoying winter, it’s nice to see the days growing longer as well.

I’ve spent the last few months getting myself in shape, and I am happy to report that I feel stronger and in better shape than I’ve ever been in my life. (I am confident I would be able to take the 20 or 30 year old version of myself handily). Anyway, I highly recommend tuning up your body and mind. It makes like a whole lot better.

That takes me to this month’s feature — practice.

It’s easy to overlook the power of practice, but there’s no getting around it. Practice is the true key to success.

I hope you find this month’s article valuable and I thank you for your support.

Really.

P.S. If you like this, please share it with someone. Or leave a comment.

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THE POWER OF PRACTICE

“An ounce of practice is worth tons of teaching” – Mahatma Gandhi

Go on.

Set aside the whole humility thing for a moment.

And allow the answers to flow out of you.

At what endeavor—work or hobby or sport—are you great?

Not good? GREAT.

Take a moment and bask in some of the skills that you’ve mastered in your lifetime.

Maybe you’re great at baking pies. Doing a perfect downward dog. Flirting. Sudoku. Running marathons. Making furniture. Grilling a steak to perfection. Writing stories. Fixing a car engine. Choosing stocks. Playing Frisbee.

Tell me what you are great at and I know something important about you.

I know where you have invested a significant amount of your time and energy. I know what you have practiced.

Perhaps this seems obvious. We all know the importance of practice if we wish to reach a level of mastery in our lives. But the true power of practice is emerging in at least a couple new ways worth exploring.

First, when see greatness in other people, very often we think of these people as being uniquely gifted and different from ourselves. For example, when I listen to Eddie Van Halen playing a guitar solo, I am much more likely to think about his amazing dexterity and creativity as a gift from God than I am to think of all hours he spent in a bedroom somewhere, building calluses on his fingertips, hitting the wrong notes countless time until he got the magic progression.

michael-phelps-butterfly-toned-muscles Likewise, when I think of Michael Phelps, I think of someone with a perfect swimmer’s body. I remember hearing how his big feet serve as flippers in the water. Surely, he was born to race dolphins, right? Images of him beginning his day before dawn to spend six hours a day in a pool practicing do not readily come to mind. But he was there, as was Eddie.

While it might be true that the chances of me meeting the standards of Eddie or Michael in their respective fields are slim, there’s growing evidence that the gap between their God-given abilities and mine are significantly smaller that I think. In fact, an excellent book, The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle makes a compelling case that greatness is grown, not born. In other words, the secret to achieving greatness lies much more deeply in the habits we adopt rather than winning the gene lottery.

Coyle shares the research underneath the power of practice, specifically how deep practice builds myelin, the insulation that wraps around our nerve fibers. The more myelin we have, the more quickly and accurately our nerve impulses fire and the better we perform. To make his point, Coyle offers evidence ranging from singers to fighter pilots. The essential ingredient is practice. In short, a formula for greatness could be written as follows:

Deep Practice x 10,000 Hours = World Class Skill.

If you want something, you need to make the decision to focus your energy in that place. It’s not that complex. The top performers practice more and they practice smarter than everyone else. (It’s worth noting that along with practice, The Talent Code identifies the need to have a great coach who is an expert at teaching what you wish to learn as another essential ingredient in success. Clearly, all top performers invest in coaches and mentors. You should too if you wish to play at the highest level.)

Another new way to think about the power of practice has to do with our thinking. When we think about practice, we still tend to think about engaging in an activity or mastering a technique.

We do not typically think of the power and importance of practicing where we focus our thoughts. Again, the top performers in any field recognize the importance of learning how to direct their thoughts (Phelps has practiced directing his thoughts and meditation techniques since he was 12).

But most of us still don’t think about our thinking very much. And what’s to be gained by taking the time to direct our thoughts?

Well, consider this: Show me the thoughts you’ve practiced and I can tell you exactly what you are creating in your life. The thoughts we practice become our beliefs and our beliefs do the creating in our lives. For example, a recent study on aging showed that people’s thoughts about aging may play a larger role in our health than the physiological factors that we and doctors tend to pay the most attention to.

The study looked at the beliefs people held about aging. Did they think negative thoughts about aging (Things keep getting worse as I get older) or positive thoughts (I am as happy now as when I was younger)?

Checking the records twenty years later, the researchers found that those who were in the habit of practicing negative thoughts died, on average, seven and a half years earlier that those who practiced positive thoughts about aging. Choosing positive thoughts made far more difference than many of the typical, more action-oriented practices like lowering blood pressure 0r reducing cholesterol (avg. +4 years) as well as the benefits of proper body weight, exercise, and not smoking (avg. between + 1-3 years).

Even though a large percentage of our beliefs are not in alignment with our desires, most people do not devote a specific portion of their day to practicing better thoughts. It’s simply easier not to, right? Think of it this way, noticing that you do not have as much money as you would like is easy. Picturing yourself having lots more money requires more conscious effort.

Considering that only about 16% of Americans engage in physical exercise every day, I would guess that the percentage of people consciously directing their thoughts is significantly less.

My take away point is this: you have everything you need to be great at whatever you desire in this world. It’s all within you already. But here’s the deal. In order to activate this greatness within you, you need to take charge of every aspect of your life. You need to show up. You need to understand that you will become what you do.

But even more important, making the decision to adopt a practice for directing your thoughts will make a huge, positive impact on your life. Yes, it takes time, energy, and commitment, but I’m guessing that you could carve out 10 minutes a day to start, right? Before you go to sleep, take a few minutes to focus on what you appreciate. Connect to the good things that you accomplished that day. When you wake, before your feet hit the floor, connect to more thoughts of appreciation. Pick out a few things you are looking forward to this new day. Expect the best.

Over the next decade or two, I’m confident that our awareness on the importance of practicing where we focus our thoughts will continue to grow. Those on the cutting edge of any field are already there.

Why not join them?

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AN INVITATION TO THE CUTTING EDGE

CONNECT WITH DREW

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Ah, the cutting edge.

A very cool place to be, methinks. Uncommonly cool.

Definitely not for everybody. In fact, it’s not for most people. (And that’s fine.)

But if it’s for YOU… well then, I have an invitation for you.

Because no one gets there alone.

THE FIRST STEP

The first step to living on the cutting edge is to get clear on what you desire in your life. Where are you going? What do you need to get there? What’s in your way?

Get clear and your life starts moving in the direction of your desire. Remain unclear, and well, not much happens!

So if you are ready to take the first step to creating a life of focus, freedom, and fun, then I encourage you to take me up on this offer.

I am offering 5 breakthrough sessions for the members of this list. The one-on-one phone sessions with Drew are 30 minutes long and the investment is $75 to reserve your spot. (This is a fraction of my normal fee).

And to boot, I’ll guarantee that you’ll be happy with the results.

First come, first serve.

Hope to connect with you…

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<<< Schedule a session with Drew here >>>

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* A Book and a Movie *

• A Book:

THE ART OF RACING THE RAIN: By Garth Stein. Received this book as a gift from my auntie Fran and I savored it like a really good cup of coffee. Written from the perspective of a dog, it’s not really a “dog book,” but certainly dog lovers will appreciate it. Learned a bit about auto racing and dare I say there were some Law of Attraction insights in there too. Worth your investment.

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• A Movie:

UP IN THE AIR: Made it to the theater. First time in a while. We were there 10 minutes early and still got the last two seats — you guessed it, right up front. Despite being 18 inches from George Clooney’s six-foot head, we really enjoyed this film. Made me appreciate Clooney’s skill as an actor (the role was written for him and it shows), and everything seemed true to life, from the acting to the writing. Deserves all of its accolades. Worth your investment.

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