Drew Rozell, Ph.D.

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The Problem with Gratitude

November 25, 2009 drewrozell 24 Comments

The problem with gratitude…

(video at drewrozell.com)

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Blog, Freedom, Good News, Law of Attraction Stuff, Media (Audios/Videos) gratitude

Comments

  1. Lisa says

    November 25, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    You rock! Couldn’t have said it better!

    Reply
  2. George Seiler says

    November 25, 2009 at 4:45 pm

    Hi Drew,

    Thanks for your clarity on appreciation versus gratitude. I do, indeed, appreciate them and will try to stay mindful of all that I do appreciate.

    Hope you and Karin have a great Thanksgiving!

    Reply
  3. Sandy says

    November 25, 2009 at 4:50 pm

    Nice distinction. Thanks for making me aware of this. From now on when I just am grateful for my car, I will start to appreciate it instead. Same for my relationships.

    I appreciate that you elevated my energy around being grateful! Happy Thanksgiving.

    Reply
  4. rich says

    November 25, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    Hey Drew,
    I greatly appreciate the fact that you took the time to put out this video short. I have heard it from you before and it is always good to hear it again.
    A thought: It seems often when we are saying we are grateful it is as a response to something that we are feeling bad about and it becomes simply a tool to try to forget about the bad feeling, a temporary fix at best.
    Peace and happy Thanksgiving ( or Appreciation Day ) to you a Karin
    Rich

    Reply
  5. Michelle Schubnel says

    November 25, 2009 at 4:57 pm

    Great distinction Drew. Here’s to appreciation and being able to get that one extra hit each week in the regular season! You rock. Happy Thanksgiving.

    Reply
  6. Susan says

    November 25, 2009 at 8:59 pm

    Drew,
    We absolutely loved your video. Thank you for taking the time to make it. I had the most wonderful “in the moment” feeling of appreciation towards YOU for sharing the distinction between gratitude and appreciation. Thank you for the clarity. I feel inspired.
    Bless you and happy holidays,
    Susan

    Reply
  7. claudia says

    November 25, 2009 at 9:18 pm

    Thanks, Drew. Really good stuff to digest here on Thanksgiving. It also makes me think about further implications of using the word “grateful” – does “grateful” imply that we did not attract this terrific thing in our lives ourselves… the view, the car, the spouse…. does “grateful” imply that it was given to us, that we did not help create it or attract it to our lives… therefore negating our own power to keep the good stuff coming….. and I would never have thought of your original idea – that “grateful” is wrapped in a comparison to a negative experience in our past… this is an easy default – thinking that this great new thing exists in relationship to this or that lesser thing… really makes me think – in new ways if when I stay conscious on it!…. thanks again for your potent thoughts. 🙂 Your vid content rocks, btw.

    Reply
  8. Patricia Black says

    November 25, 2009 at 11:57 pm

    Drew,
    This is such a great distinction. I was just making a gratitude list last night and had this little nagging feeling of disatisfaction as I wrote it out. You articulated exactly where that feeling was coming from. Now, I am ready to embrace Thanksgiving in the spirit of appreciation!

    much love and a happy holiday,
    Patricia

    Reply
  9. Elizabeth Rhymer says

    November 26, 2009 at 6:41 am

    I hadn’t thought of this distinction. Thanks, Drew!

    Reply
  10. Candace Hammond says

    November 26, 2009 at 9:50 am

    I guess I’m the only one who doesn’t agree here. I believe that through acknowledging where you’ve come from that you can fully appreciate the present. If everything had always been wonderful the appreciation of the present couldn’t be there. Just like you can’t truly appreciate sunny days without some cloudy ones thrown in.

    In my own life being grateful every day for the fact that my oldest son did not die from being a heroin addict and now has two years clean and sober helps me to remember just how precious and precarious life is, thereby appreciating it even more.

    I think being aware, not dwelling, but being aware of how far you’ve come makes everything much sweeter.

    Reply
  11. Karin Witzig Rozell says

    November 26, 2009 at 10:29 am

    Oh so subtle – this distinction between gratitude and appreciation – but oh so powerful when you get it. 🙂

    Reply
  12. James says

    November 26, 2009 at 10:38 am

    Hi Drew, Great insight on the power of Appreciation. In a way appreciation implies something rising in value or going up and as you say it comes from a cleaner place.

    I appreciate you!

    Reply
  13. Paul Rarick says

    November 26, 2009 at 11:26 am

    Love the video, Drew. I’ve looked at this one before as well, and I was on the same bandwagon at one time, but I’ve come back to using Gratitude more than appreciation as of late.

    I find I can tap into the vibration of gratitude pretty easily without feeling the downside you mention. But, it might be because I often just keep repeating, “Thank you, God” over and over again… sometimes without any particular thing attached to it.

    I often will be grateful for really basic things, like having a healthy body and a sound mind, and the ability to experience the physical world fully. When I see stories about the woman whose face was torn off by the chimp (recently she was interviewed on Oprah and Today show), it really makes me feel grateful for very basic things which I used to take for granted. Like having a face!

    I find that sometimes, I have a hard time finding something to really appreciate, but I can easily feel grateful for several things in that moment.

    So, both are very useful I think, when used appropriately. You post has reminded me to tap into appreciation more often, which I will start doing for sure!

    Happy Thanksgiving — you rock!

    Reply
  14. Carol says

    November 26, 2009 at 11:29 am

    Thanks for the distinction between gratitude and appreciation!! Happy Thanksgiving!!

    Reply
  15. drew says

    November 26, 2009 at 12:38 pm

    getting ready to kick back for the day, but before I do, I really, really appreciate (and yes, that’s the right word) everyone taking the time to watch the video and to share your thought with me.

    simply a wonderful feeling for me… one i will bask in for a bit here…

    have a lovely holiday!

    drew

    Reply
  16. Julie says

    November 26, 2009 at 2:55 pm

    Really appreciated the article. I’ve always had problems with the word gratitude – I guess it reminds me of the times I heard “You should be grateful”. I think my problem with it (which I realised as I watched your video) is that it’s passive. I only have to BE grateful, I don’t have to do anything. Appreciate though is an active verb; I have to make an effort to enjoy what I’ve been given. I have to actually think what’s good about that thing for me. In some cases this is obvious, but not always & it helps me appreciate more if I make the effort and don’t just take it for granted.

    Reply
  17. Tina Monk says

    November 26, 2009 at 8:02 pm

    Hi, great thoughts thanks. And for me to express that appreciation, when it involves other people as it often does, makes it even more active. Tina

    Reply
  18. Maria says

    November 27, 2009 at 2:14 am

    Hi Drew,

    I will walk around in the days ahead and consider this perspective. It’s not one I currently share.

    I actually see appreciation as a distinct “aspect” of gratitude. Yes I can appreciate my view, my partner, children and many specifics about these… to me that appreciation leads me to a place of deep gratitude which is often about my ability to create and co-create with source. The gratitude is for everything simultaneously – because when I’m tapped into my gratitude which I often am, I’m living an inner celebration. There are many aspects of gratitude and appreciation is one of them – I see appreciation as a fraction of the bigger whole.

    Also, please consider that when someone is thinking of something now as better than something from the past – perhaps the place to look is to the beauty of vulnerability. Vulnerability is also an aspect of gratitude. Another thought is why is anything from the past considered a negative. All the past relationships leading to the one… I see as a gift. I’m grateful for them too. The past has led me to the present, I’ve learned so much along the way.

    Happy Thanksgiving – Great video to get us thinking and talking.

    Reply
  19. RosaLee says

    November 27, 2009 at 4:54 am

    Hi Drew…I really appreciate people like yourself who are able and willing to take the time to think about such fine distinctions! Another wrinkle in the difference between these two words:For me, gratitude implies having something, compared with not having it (as you point out–but that comparison is not limited to comparison with your own less than ideal past experiences; it also can compare with other people’s circumstances and even imaginings of “what could be”). Gratitude may also imply that its object has been given to you, and you are thankful for having received, and for the act of giving that came from some outside source. The focus is on oneself, basically, and just having something vs. not having it–possessing.

    Appreciation implies a focus not on comparisons of any kind, nor
    on how the object happens to be in your awareness; rather, the focus is on the value of the object, in and of
    itself, whether you “have” it or not. It implies a precious
    connection, a deeper understanding and cherishing of something for its own sake, even if it is no longer–or not yet–in your life, except in memory or imagination.

    Reply
  20. Nancie Benson says

    November 27, 2009 at 12:17 pm

    What a wonderful distinction between gratitude and appreciation! Now that you mention it, being grateful has some negative associations attached to it from the past that sound something like “you should be grateful for what you have, even if it’s bad because it’s really all you deserve.”

    I loved what you said about appreciation being a cleaner focus energetically, and am shifting right now and forward from gratitude to appreciation.

    Thanks, Drew. I appreciate you.

    Reply
  21. Louise Crooks says

    November 28, 2009 at 7:23 pm

    Hi Drew!

    Really interesting your outlook on those terms. I have never seen gratitude as an opportunity for comparison of the things that were not so great, in the past. To me gratitude, is in the moment, truly in the present and coming from source or the heart – a real feeling of love, for what is right now. If you focus on the present, I don’t believe it becomes a comparative exercise. To me, the word appreciation, is an external experience, and more superficial in the sense of on the surface expression of whats happening around you. The word feels like less of coming from the heart and source. I suppose ultimately this is all open to individual interpretation, but thats my take on it. I am truly grateful that you created this wonderful conversation! Happy Thanksgiving!

    Reply
  22. Gretchen Sunderland says

    December 2, 2009 at 9:02 am

    Hi Drew-
    I always “appreciate” your thoughts, word distinctions and different approach to ordinary things.
    I have seen you make many deliberate choices in the past few years, and I have seen your life become enriched because of your clear intentions.
    You are a great role model!
    Gretchen

    Reply
  23. Carl says

    December 12, 2009 at 3:45 am

    Drew-

    Appreciation vs Gratitude, frankly I always considered the definition to be the same, never considered the difference.

    Thanks for defining the difference it will stick with me forever.

    I appreciate you!

    Reply
  24. Care says

    December 12, 2009 at 1:43 pm

    I get it! Thanks Drew.

    Reply

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