Drew Rozell, Ph.D.

Author and Coach

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The Silver Lining

September 23, 2011 drewrozell Leave a Comment

 

You know the old saying about clouds and silver linings…

(Of course, the saying can be especially annoying when it’s offered to you while you’re not feeling up to snuff.)

But there is always a silver lining… though it has nothing to do with forcing yourself to pick out some “good thing” hidden within a lousy situation.

In fact, when something feels shitty to you, I want you to allow it to feel shitty.

No need to try to soften how you feel, to backpedal from your emotions, or to pretend that you feel better than you do. I want you to be OK with how you feel in the moment.

If you do not allow yourself to feel bad when you feel bad, you will completely miss the silver lining that exists within any situation.

Consider that in the moment of feeling disappointed (or whatever unwanted feeling is there), you are never more clear on WHAT YOU DO WANT.

By knowing powerfully what you don’t want, you know powerfully what you do want.

This is the silver lining in any situation.

Yet, most people never take hold of it.

The most common response to feeling disappointed is to go deeper down the rabbit hole, beat on oneself without mercy, and dwell on all that did not go the way you intended.

Here’s the rub with this approach: This response does nothing but ensure that you will attract more of the same unwanted feeling down the line.

And so here’s the UPGRADE…

In the moments of disappointment (or just plain not feeling good about something), allow yourself to feel through what you don’t like.

And then, use this as the bouncing off place to paint the picture of exactly what you DO want.

Write down exactly what you really want. Talk about it to someone. Whatever… Just make sure you create the picture, because this is the lion’s share of what you need to do to get exactly what you want.

Most people never take this bounce, this silver lining. They never take the time to identify what they DO WANT and so they stay stuck in a place they do not wish to be.

But you know better…

 

 

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