The most twisted thought coming from apprentices of Law of Attraction is the one that says,” I shouldn’t be thinking negative thoughts.”
Because you will always think thoughts you don’t particularly like. In fact, those thoughts are among the most helpful that you ever focus upon because they are the thoughts that give birth to every new desire you have. In other words, the thoughts you don’t like are the ones showing you what you want right NOW.
So, if you’re busy condemning yourself for thinking something unpleasant, you’ll be condemning yourself every day. And that ain’t helpful. Instead, the idea is to let go of negative thoughts by allowing yourself to think them. When you shine a light on your crusty thoughts, they dissolve and move on. Seeing thoughts for what they are is much different than circling around them and dwelling (which isn’t helpful either).
Last week, I wrote this post on Christmas Eve in an attempt to let go of some heavy thoughts I was tired of carrying around every year…
And you know what? Taking my own advice worked.
Immediately after expressing myself and writing the post, I felt better. I did not feel great. I did not feel entirely good. But I felt better. And choosing to feel better sets one’s course in the wanted direction.
After sharing those thoughts, I took a long shower and an old memory popped in my head…
It was the year 2000. My father died rather suddenly in August and right before Thanksgiving my four siblings and I moved my mother into assisted living. The whole experience whipped up a tsunami of emotions ranging from grief to guilt with some sibling resentment thrown in for good measure.
As Thanksgiving arrived, all of my siblings had out of town plans with their families, and I found myself alone in my parents’ empty house for the holiday. On Thanksgiving Day I shared a sad, sterile meal with my mom at the facility. To raise my spirits, I decided to take myself out for a proper dinner, but all the restaurants were closed. I ended up alone in a booth at the only place serving, Betty Beaver’s truck stop. Returning home to the big empty house, I drank myself asleep on the floor, curling up with my dogs for solace. Not pretty.
Dealing with the loss of my parents was tough, but the sudden death of all the holiday traditions my family shared in this house proved to be the unexpected gut punch, the blow that did some hidden lasting damage. With our home base gone, so was the holiday family connection. Going forward, I would be the guest in someone else’s holiday tradition.
And so each year as the days grew darker and the holidays approached, I’d start to detach. I knew why my thoughts would grow heavy, why it was difficult for me, but I could never escape the feelings. It wasn’t until this year where things changed.
I let go.
Now, you’ve heard that phrase many times. And it sounds quite good, doesn’t it? But what does it really mean to let go?
Letting go means finding your resistance and then laying it down.
And yes, while that sounds simple enough, application proves to be something more entirely.
After hitting my threshold of feeling low this year I decided to let go. Specifically, I decided I would no longer resist whatever feelings I had. It started with my sitting down and writing that blog post and looking my feelings in the eye.
After a few minutes at the keyboard, I could see how I’d been condemning myself for feeling the way I did. (Aren’t the holidays supposed to be the happiest time of the year?)
I should be feeling happy.
Why I am feeling resentful when everyone else is celebrating?
I know I am being a Scrooge and I really hate being this way…
In short, I resisted my own feelings instead of just letting them be what they were. When I allowed them — when I allowed these unpleasant thoughts the space to breathe and evolve, rather than trying to stuff them in a dark chimney — the dark skies cleared. This year, I had the most joyful, connected Christmas that I can remember since childhood.
Letting go works.
In fact, it works so well that the subject matter is irrelevant. If there’s something you want — anything from health to money to relationships to just plain feeling better — and it’s not showing up in your life, you can be sure there’s some habit of resistance keeping you apart from your desire.
So let’s change that.
As a thank you to someone who follows my work, and a bit of promo for my new book, Let It Go: Manifest What You Really Want by Giving Up and Allowing (coming January 2015), I want to invite you to join me for a free coaching experience where you will have the opportunity to let go of anything you’re ready to leave behind in 2014.
Again, the call is free and coaching will be delivered first-come, first-serve and you can be completely anonymous if you like.
I will tell you that this is the most powerful coaching I’ve done in my 20 years in the profession and my clients’ experiences have been deeply satisfying. (Join me and I’ll show you rather than tell you.)
The Let It Go: Dropping Your Resistance call is Wednesday December 31st, 2014
10:00AM EST – Noon EST.
Just register below for the call info and I hope to connect with you soon,
P.S. Thank you. You are appreciated.