Today I learned something important.
I’ve heard it before.
I knew the concept.
But today, the penny dropped…
I learned that the key to a very cool life, an attractive life, is allowing.
Like I said, I know the three steps to deliberately creating your life:
Ask, Allow, Receive.
And I know that allowing tends to be the sticky wicket in the simple formula.
However, what I learned today is that the real issue that keeps us from getting what we want has to do with allowing, yes, but in a totally different way than I had ever thought of before.
Certainly, it’s often the case where we do not allow ourselves to want what we want. Someone – a parent, or well-meaning teacher – gave us some rationale for cutting ourselves off from our desires (e.g, they told us not to be selfish or we overheard them complaining about those “rich bastards”).
But what clicked for me today is that we very often do not allow ourselves to allow what we DON’T want.
And this has powerful consequences.
So what do I mean…? Why we want to allow something we don’t want? On the surface, it makes no sense (and this explains why I missed it up until now).
Well consider this…
Every thought you have wants to evolve. It wants to MOVE THROUGH you.
If it does not evolve, it GETS STUCK.
When a thought gets stuck, especially an unwanted thought, you create the same unwanted outcome, over and over and over…
Get the picture?
We all have some subject where our desire is huge, but our creations seem to stagnate. We never seem to make much progress and of course, this gets super-frustrating.
This has nothing to do with you “doing it wrong” and everything to do with your resistance to allowing something you don’t like.
As long as you’re bottling up a thought, hiding it away in the cold, damp basement of your mind, it lives on unchanged. As long as it remains imprisoned, it will be lurking in the background, creating more of what you don’t want.
Here’s the thing… (and I just did it in the previous description)
We do not allow our unwanted thoughts to be thunk and to evolve because we were taught that they were scary and dangerous.
I know I am writing in theory here, so let me see if I can make it more practical.
Recently somebody pissed me off. She did something that I did not like.
Now, I allowed myself to get mad at her, but not all the way.
After all, being really angry is not nice. It’s not cool. It’s blah blah blah…
I learned that this is something that you just don’t do… you don’t let the monster loose! HULK too dangerous! HULK DESTROY EVERYTHING! AAARRGHHH!
And so I did not let my anger evolve. Instead it hung around and festered until I talked about it today in a coaching session.
I didn’t want to feel that emotion of my rage. I locked it away. Resisted it. Poured some saccharine on it. Disallowed it.
And as a result of this habit, I paid the price. I felt the unwanted feelings linger. They took over my mind at times and I just could not move to a better-feeling thought.
But today, I allowed myself to feel it. To immerse myself in it. I said nothing to the person – no need to – but rather I went there in my mind.
I allowed my unwanted emotions to run wild.
HULK BROKE THINGS!
And in a few moments, the thoughts moved away. They walked into the distance like Bill Bixby, onto their next adventure, leaving me to mine.
In a shot, I realized how often I’d not allowed my unwanted thoughts to exist. So many different areas of my life where I swept them under the rug in hopes that they’d disappear.
But they do not.
Not until you uncover them. See them. Feel them. And let them go.
Only then are you truly ALLOWING in every sense of the word.
Only then does the ASK. ALLOW. RECEIVE. formula work.
I don’t know if this makes sense to you. I wrote this quickly, trying to get my revelation out while it was fresh.
But I think this one is big enough that I am just getting started on the subject…