I am hosting a very cool retreat in Burlington, Vermont 10 days from now.
It’s going to be the following things:
Fun.
Inspiring.
Entertaining.
Full of connection.
Full of beauty.
Full of new ideas, with a massive breakthrough or two thrown in again for good measure..
As of this posting, I have 2 seats left.
If you feel like this space is meant for you and someone close to you, join us here.
In fact, if you come to my retreat, I promise that you’ll experience the following:
Nothing.
That’s right. I promise nothing.
Zero. Zippo. Zilch.
In fact, I have no idea if you’ll even like me.
Or my shoes. I have no idea if you’ll like what I have to say. I have no idea that you’ll understand any of the points I’m making. I have no idea whether you’ll find the information relevant. Or valuable. I have no idea whether you’ll like Vermont. Or the hotel. Or the weather. Or the other people at the event. Or the selection of teas in the back of the room.
(Damn. It feels good to write all that!)
So in short, if you come to my event (or buy my book, or join my Club, etc.), I have no clue what your experience will be. You may think my stuff is life-changing. You may think it totally sucks.
(See, I told you this was the worst sales pitch ever! 🙂 )
Why am I sharing this thought?
Because I just realized something important. I realized that I’m not in control of any one else’s experience but mine.
If you go back to the top of this post and re-read my intentions for the event, I’m not writing about what you would experience. I am writing about what I will experience.
I will have fun. I will have breakthroughs. I will be entertained, inspired, and see beauty and connection.
(Just connecting to this thought feels so cool! I know I am going to have a great time. I love Vermont. I love leading these events. Can’t wait!)
A few days ago, focusing so intently on my experience would lead me to believe I was not holding up my end of the bargain; that somehow I was breaking the unspoken contract between me and the attendees.
In my mind, the thoughts went like this —
I need to make sure that everyone has a great time. I need to make sure that everyone has a breakthrough. I need to make sure that everyone gets enough of my personal attention. I need to make sure that everyone gets more value that they paid for —
Guess what that felt like?
Pressure.
Big-time pressure.
And of course, pressure never feels good. (Side note: It was this unwanted feeling that led me to 1) Want to feel better 2) Get some coaching for myself, which led to 3) My breakthrough that I share here).
I had to be reminded of my own words… My job is to always move in the direction that feels better.
In my head, I clung to the notion that I was responsible for this room of people and all their experiences. Of course, this is just silly, especially when when you consider that in any room there are as many totally unique perspectives as individuals.
Obviously, I’m not in control of those unique perspectives, just as I’m not in control of your thoughts about what I am sharing here.
All I am in control of is me and how I feel.
The feeling of pressure was not my enemy. Rather it was there to give me feedback, to tell me that my attempt to managed the experiences of others was both misguided and impossible.
I share this because I know I’ve been ignoring this sort of feedback for a while. I’ve let my mind and some old notions about “what’s right” trump my inner guidance system and moving towards what feels better.
I share this because perhaps my words will inspire you to notice where you are choosing thoughts that lead you to feeling pressure and adjust your focus accordingly.
Likewise, I know that the most powerful thing I can do for anyone attending my retreat is to be an example of living in alignment and to model the power of feeling good.
The same is true in your life.
(Doesn’t it feel great to remember that?)
Very refreshing approach Drew – love it! I think we all need to incorporate this approach into sales letters/pitches etc.: because ultimately we are NOT in control of anyone else’s experience or result! Thanks for continuing to be a thought leader!
@Brenda Cody: thanks, Brenda. i don’t think any one ever called me a thought leader before, but i rather like the sound of it… 🙂
movin movin movin… in the direction that feels better… yes. that resonates. thanks! – Northbound Zax
So the other day I am having a discussion with a friend. They we getting frustrated with me because of my apparent unwillingness to join them at there level of unhappiness with a situation we both shared. “You just want to live your life felling good” they shouted in disgust. Cool, I realized, I do…it’s working. Must admit though my next thought was does this make me a bad person. After all the discussion was an important matter. Then I realized I can still take action to change the situation. I just can do that from a place of feeling good.
@donna: hey Donna — one of the things I’ve learned recently from friction in relationships is that they are bouncing off points for us. in other words, it’s these sorts of conversations that allow us the opportunity to define for ourselves how we’d really like things to be. my post and my clarity came from such an experience with someone else.
finally, it really is about taking that time to reflect and really notice what truly feels better and moving from there…
thanks for writing,
drew
Drew,
I’ve been following you for years now. You’ve been speaking to me. I used to look forward to the monthly newsletters in my inbox. And, then, some things changed. Some of it seemed like very good changes for you and I was happy but the connection weakened. There were no longer monthly updates with fun pictures. There were more pitches (which is fine but they weren’t calling my name.)
Today, the worst sales pitch ever, speaks to me. I’m not “supposed” to be at your event but I feel included and interested and care about how it turns out for everyone. Basically, I feel like Drew is back.
And, for extra cool…. I am a touch typist and as I typed “Drew is back” I looked out my French doors to see a spectacular rainbow arcing over my neighbour’s garage. I think you’ve hit a pot of gold!
@Caitlyn: thank you for your thoughts, Caitlyn. looking back, somewhere in there, i lost connection with those newsletters. started to feel like pressure.
funny to think of it, but now I have a monthly printed newsletter filled with lots of thoughts, essays, pictures and such. it’s 8 pages, so there’s much more to fill, but so far, it’s just been fun to do and send out there.
like the rainbow image… thanks!
Hey Drew, I really liked your pitch!! You offered me nothing. I have nothing to offer you too, and based on all your good work over the years you deserve it. I look forward to nothing. I’m like my dog that way – we both do nothing well. If you were to ask me what I do, I’d say “nothing doing.” My philosophy is this: if less is more, then nothing is everything. Much wisdom is born of nothing. Revelations come in the stillness of nothing. The problem today is we’re always looking for something to do. But really, you can’t go wrong if you do nothing right! Opportunities to do nothing abound but in our frenetic culture we just don’t take them. But nothing ventured, so much gained. More of us should pencil ourselves in for nothing and keep the appointment. Freedom is letting go – I liked the way you put it – about expecting nothing. Why not? All of us owe ourselves nothing – we’d make our dogs proud. If we ever meet Drew, I hope we can both look each other in the eye and say, “thanks for nothing.”
Sincerely,
Stuart